


Not Patrick Swayze

by La_Califfa



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Art, Captain America Steve Rogers/Modern Bucky Barnes, Character Turned Into a Ghost, F/M, Female Bucky Barnes, Fluff and Humor, Ghost!Steve, One Shot, Photoshop, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-02 13:11:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17264798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/La_Califfa/pseuds/La_Califfa
Summary: All that Bucky wanted was to start a new life in New York after a car accident, that left her with a hurt arm. What she wasn’t counting on, was the old apartment and the ghost of one Steve Rogers already living there.A Ghost AU, with a genderbend, Girl!Bucky!





	Not Patrick Swayze

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is a little ghost story that many others must have done before, but I wanted to do one of my own! It's fluffy! Please see the end notes for Images for this fic!  
> Again, english is not my birth language, so please forgive any mistakes!

If there is one thing they never really tell you about moving from a place to another, is about how truly stressful it can be. I mean, you know something might go missing, some things might break, you can have the moving truck going to a whole different city. If you ask Bucky, she will tell you all about it. About how a bag full of clothes got lost. About how her mug collection arrived broken. About how there was a confusion with the moving team and they left a lot of her stuff on the hallway of the building. She knows it.

However, not even all that stress can really beat the satisfaction of having your own place. On a city you were born, and spent so many years away from.

Closing the door, and texting her sister with one hand, she looked around the place. It wasn't a big apartment. Far from it. It was actually a very old building in Brooklyn, one that was a miracle to still be standing. The state agent bragged about it, explaining how the building was historical, how the building was well preserved even if it had almost a hundred years old. To be fair, it was in pretty good shape and had a lot of charm, considering, but it was far from the luxurious New York apartments. Also, it was far cheaper than the other apartments she looked for in Brooklyn.

As if there was any other place for her to live. She was born in Brooklyn, but moved to Washington 8 years before, because of her father’s work for the government. D.C. was a good place to live, but it wasn't home. So much had changed for her in the last 8 years, and now, when the time came for her to get back on her feet, to start over, Brooklyn was the place to go.

Her phone vibrated, a video call from her sister, Becca.

“Can’t you wait for like, three minutes so I can lock my door and get my shoes off?” she grumbled, looking at her sister’s nostrils, since she wasn't looking at the phone screen.

“Don't leave me hanging while we are texting Bucky!” she mock glared her older sister. “Are you home yet?”

Home? Bucky looked around at the simple but comfortable couch, and the many boxes laying around. There was so much to do, most of her belongings still on bags and boxes, but she was so happy to be there. “Yup! I just went out to buy dinner. The downstairs neighbor stared at me again when I saw her at the lobby.”

“The old lady?”

“Yeah.”

“What’s up with that?”

“Hell if I know.” Bucky answered, putting the phone up on the kitchen island. She turned the screen to the sink, so she could still see Becca. “Like I said, she just looked at me funny when I said I had moved in here. Since then, she just stares at me as if I am a ghost!”

Becca giggled. “Are you sure you don’t want me to come over to help you settle in?”

Bucky snorted. “As if mom would let you skip school for that.” Becca was the smartest 15 year old Bucky knew. She was so full of life and sass, she sometimes made Bucky feel old, even if she was only 25. “I can handle it.”

“Bucky, you know you can ask for our help, right? How is your arm?”

Bucky’s arm, her left arm to be precise, was one of the reasons that made her leave her family to start a life away. Five years previously, she got involved in a car crash, that almost costed her arm. Many surgeries, lots of medications, sessions of therapy and physiotherapy after, she felt she needed to leave and be her own person again, without her parents constant worry.

“It's fine. It hasn’t acted up in a while.” she answered a little moody.

“I’ll believe it when you finally stop wearing those long sleeved shirts.”

Bucky twisted her mouth. It was so much easier for Becca to say that, when she wasn’t the one with scars all over her arm. She wasn’t the one that had to deal with weak muscles and a shaking hand on bad days.

“It's cold in New York.” she said a little dry.

“Seriously?” Becca snorted.

“Becca, just let it go.” she said tiredly, putting her food on the table, turning her back to the phone. She wasn't in the mood to argue about this again.

“Sorry! Sorry!” Becca called, sounding tearful.

Bucky looked at the phone and saw her sister looking away. She took the phone and started at her. “What is it?”

“I just miss you.” she said a little shaky.

“Miss you too.” she answered with a little smile of her own.

“I can’t wait to finish school and go be your roommate!”

Bucky laughed a little. “I can’t either. We will probably have to live somewhere else though! This place is tiny.”

“You should have looked for more apartments before getting this one.”

“This place is good enough, and the rent is ridiculously cheap. I can save in the meantime so we can live on a bigger place!”

Becca looked backwards at something and smiled. “Mom’s calling for dinner. Catch you later!”

“Send mom and dad a hug, ok?”

After the call was finished, silence fell in the apartment. Bucky already missed her sister’s voice. Shaking off the feeling, she grabbed cold juice from the fridge and sat on the kitchen island to have her own dinner. When she was about to take her first bite, she heard a sigh.

She froze. It was a clear, loud, bored sigh.

With the fork halfway to her mouth, she looked around. Her small apartment was a open space kitchen and living room, with two doors on the opposite side of the room, one bathroom and one bedroom. Both doors were open, empty dark rooms beyond. She looked quickly to the windows, thinking someone might be on the fire escape. Empty too.

She stood perfectly still, listening the neighbors, but the walls were thick, she hardly heard them at all on the little time she was living there. She frowned.

“Weird.” she shrugged, finally turning back to her dinner. She watched a NFL game later that night, falling asleep on the couch.

 

__________

 

A month later, her home was taking shape. She put her armchair close to the bed, put some photos on the walls, curtains on the windows and all the kitchen utensils were proudly in place. She used a corner of the living room to set up a office space. Bucky was great with numbers, and worked from home with several companies making their accountancy. After her accident, it was the way she found to work without leaving the house so much. For a while, it was hard to be around too many people at once.

On this particular friday night, she decided to go out. She had a crazy month with clients and the moving, and wanted to relax. Bucky had long dark brown, wavy hair and the bluest eyes, that she got from her father. She dressed in skinny jeans, a dark blue glitter long sleeved shirt and high heels. She wasn’t overly fond of them, since the accident, but she wore them once in a while. Some acquaintances indicated a small bar within walking distance from her building, and off she went.

The bar was called “The Red Room”, and it had a cyberpunk decoration. The music wasn’t bad or too loud and she liked the place instantly. Sitting at the bar, she asked for her drink, and a cheerful young man served her with a smile. She blushed, not used to any attention like that in a long time. In fact, this was her first drink since the accident.

Shaking her head, she looked around. Some couples sitting together in booths, some girls drinking together in a obvious “girls only” night out. Some people flirting at the bar. Listening to the music, she enjoyed her drink alone, until she felt someone sitting next to her.

A dark haired man, with a handsome face, smile at her.

“Hello.” he said while checking her out. With a little wince, she smiled hesitant.

“Hi.”

“Such a pretty girl like you all alone? Mind if I sit here?”

“Erm… sure!” she didn’t go out to spend all night alone anyway, so chatting up a guy wasn’t that bad.

“Name´s Brock, yours?”

“Bucky.”

He snorted. “What kind of name is that?”

She frowned. “A nickname.” she rolled her eyes. What a douche.

“Oh, I see!” he leaned over her, suddenly too interested, making Bucky lean back in her chair. See what? “So, how much for the night?”

“Excuse me?” she pushed him back. “What the hell did you say?”

“Oh-ho! No need to be so difficult!” he laughed. “I was joking doll!”

“You’re the joke, asshole.” she spat at him, leaving her chair and walking away. She hadn’t take a second sip of her drink, for chrissakes.

His laughter followed her to the exit, the night out now sounding like the worst idea. She tripped on her heels twice on the walk back home, so she just took them off and carried them all the way back. She should have known better than going out to drink. Those nights never ended well.

Arriving home with her feet sore, she threw her high heels on the trash can. Taking her clothes off, she jumped in the shower, angrily washing her feet. This asked for drastic measures. Putting up her pajamas, she made a huge bowl of cheerios, and tuned on Netflix for the night. She slept on the couch for a while, then said to netflix that, “no, she wasn’t still watching Lucifer” anymore, and dragged herself to bed. Her room was small, only a single bed, a armchair and a little dresser on the corner with her wardrobe. What she liked the most were the big windows, that overlooked a little park at the end of the street and had a lovely light in the late afternoon.

After pulling the covers up to her ears, she smiled. Even though her evening sucked, she was happy to be in Brooklyn. Just as she was falling asleep, (or was she asleep already?) she heard a noise, as if someone had just sat down on her armchair. The thing always creaked a little when you did it. Turning her head sleepily, she opened her eyes a fraction, and saw a man, sitting in the chair. Hm. _How strange_ , her sleepy mind thought.

Lifting her head a little, she tried to see more in the dark. The man was sitting in the chair, his elbow on the arm, his fingers touching his chin. He was looking out of the window, a soft light from outside silhouetting him in the dark. He had a frown on his face, fingers tapping his chin, as if in thought.

Maybe her brain was so traumatized by her encounter at the bar, she was dreaming of a whole different man. She laughed a little.

The man looked straight at her, and wow. He was hot. Hot dream man.

“What is it?” he asked.

Double wow. His voice was deep and really sexy. Maybe if she concentrated hard enough, she could turn this dream into a sex dream? Maybe the milk in her Cheerios was bad. This felt like an hallucination.

“Oh man, I wish you were real.” she giggled sleepy, and turned back to her pillow. She thought she heard someone moving around, but sleep caught her very fast, and next time she opened her eyes, it was already morning, and sadly, no hot dream man in sight.

 

__________

 

“I think I need a boyfriend.” Bucky said the next day to Becca, on a video call. She was working on her little home office, phone right beside her monitor, where she could see Becca studying in her room. They always left the video open, even if they weren’t talking, just keeping each other company.

Becca snorted. “Oh yeah?”

“I had this crazy dream last night. This hot blond guy was in my room.”

“Ew! Spare me the details.” she made a face.

“Jerk, he was just sitting in my armchair.”

“How exciting.”

“Maybe my brain is telling me I should get a date.”

“That worked well last night too.”

“That guy was an asshole. New York is full of guys, not all of them are assholes. Besides, I wasn’t looking for a date last night.”

Becca laughed. “He thought you were a hooker!” and laughed harder.

“Becca!” she glared at her sister.

“Sorry Buck!! It's kinda funny!” she giggled.

“Maybe I will laugh about this in a year, with a rich, handsome and famous husband, that will make all my dreams come true!”

“Yes, and he will be superman too!”

Both sister laughed together, their distance meaning nothing.

Bucky got absorbed by her work, and Becca left for the movies with her friends. She never took the weekends off, if she had any job to finish, so here she was. All was quiet in the apartment, that’s why she heard the little noise coming from the bathroom. She looked at the fire escape just in case, and found it empty. Turning in her chair, she looked into the bathroom, since the door was open. Wait.

Who closed the door?

Frowning, she got up slowly, and grabbed a baseball bat beside her desk. She knew, that it was impossible for someone to be inside, but she was sure she heard a noise. Just as she was about to touch the handle, she heard it again. A small splash of water, as if someone was washing their face.

Frowning, she grabbed the handle and threw the door open. It was empty. The sink was wet, and the faucet running slowly. She turned it to shut the water off, and looked around. Weird. She didn’t remember leaving it on.

Shaking her head, she went back to work. But the feeling of not being alone remained. She kept checking the phone, thinking maybe she left the video call on. She looked over her shoulder every once in a while, a little spooked that she might find someone there. Nothing. The hair at the back of her neck stood up.

When her phone suddenly rang, she jumped so high in her chair that she banged her knee under the table.

“Ow, son of a bitch!” she cursed, rubbing her knee.

“Language!” a voice scolded.

Gasping, she got up from the chair, making it tumble backwards. She looked frantically around, but no one was there. She felt frozen and alert. That voice…

The phone ringing got her attention, and she grabbed it. It was an unknown number.

“Hello?” she answered a little shakily.

“Good afternoon, is this Jane Barnes talking?”

“Yes, yes, this is her.”

“Hello, my name is Jack Rollins, I got your number from Google and I understand that you’re an accountant?”

“Yes, that is correct.”

“I am opening a small security company, and my partner and I need help with our numbers, is it ok if we meet sometime this week?”

“Of course Mr. Rollins, that sounds good.” she said looking around the apartment.

“Great, I will send a message with our address, is it ok if we meet for lunch next thursday?”

Quickly checking her schedule, she replied she would be free then. Thanking her, Rollins hang up, wishing her a good day. The prospect of a new client distracted Bucky from what happened before the phone rang, but as soon as she finished adding her appointment into her schedule, she got right back to it.

Straightening her spine, she walked around the apartment looking around suspiciously. She looked out of the windows, she put her ears on the walls trying to listen to the neighbors. The voice was too clear. Too near.  

How was it possible?

Going back to her desk, she righted the chair and sat again in front of her computer. She put some music on, for she would still work for another couple of hours. She kept looking over her shoulder every fifteen minutes though.

She was tempted to swear again, just to see if the voice would answer… but maybe it was better to not find out.

 

____________

 

As the weeks passed, strange things kept happening in the apartment.

No matter what she did, the bathroom’s door kept closing at odd moments. One moment it was open, the very next, closed. She sat on the couch one night staring at it, just hoping to catch it in the act, but it never happened while she was looking.

Her armchair would also make noises lots of times. During the day and at night. She wouldn’t see anyone on it, but she was sure of the noise of someone sitting there. Sometimes clothes would be on the floor, sometimes her shoes would be shoved out of the way.

One day, she was sitting on the edge of her bed, putting on her socks, and she went to the kitchen. When she got back, her bed was pressed, not a wrinkle in place.

Bucky was never afraid of the supernatural. She wasn’t sure she even believed it. So she kept finding excuses to her “incidents”: _The wind closed the door, the weather shifted the wood on the armchair,_ an so on...

A couple of days later, she was going out for groceries, when she saw Mrs Rivera walk in. She stared at Bucky again, and she decided to investigate.

“Good morning Mrs Rivera, how are you today?” she asked jovially.

“Good morning miss Barnes.” she answered a little dry, a thick spanish accent.

“I meant to ask before, I work from home, and my schedules are a bit crazy, but I would love to invite you for coffee someday at my place! Meet my neighbor some more!”

The moment of hesitation was tiny, but Bucky saw it.

“I don’t drink coffee, but thank you.”

“Oh, tea perhaps?”

“Perhaps.” she answered suspiciously.

“ I was wondering, if you got to meet the people who lived in my apartment before me?”

“Lots of people lived in there, I didn’t get to meet all of them.”

Oh. “Really? It’s such a good apartment, I wonder why so many people moved in and out.”

Mrs Rivera stared at her and seemed unsure. “Well, I must be going, good day miss Barnes.” and she left no room for talking as she went upstairs.

“That went well.” Bucky muttered, walking out for her shopping. When she got home, she looked around the place, while putting away the groceries.

Things seemed normal, but she saw some things out of place… like the bathroom door closed again. She went and opened it, just in spite. _Chill out, the wind closed it._ Walking past her room, she noticed that her armchair was also closer to the window then it usually was. Some clothes that were hanging from the back, were on the floor.

Blinking, suspicious, she went and gathered the clothes, dropping them on the bed. She left the chair alone, going back to the living room. Curiouser and curiouser.

Her phone rang with Becca´s ringtone, Bad Day, from Daniel Powter. Sighing relieved, she answered the video call.

“What’s up?”

“Hey Bucky! Mom wants to talk to you!”

She smiled. Her mother, Winnie, never got the hang of smartphones. There was a blur of movement from the phone camera and then Bucky's mother showed up on the screen.

“Hi baby!”

“Hi mom! How have you been?”

“I’ve been good dear! How about you?”

“Good! I think I finished moving everything already, and I got a possible new client!”  
  
“That's great! When are you coming to visit again?”

Bucky could hear Becca laughing in the background and laughed along. “Mom, I just moved in here. It's been only a few months!”

Her mom made a face, “As if I couldn’t miss you in just a few months.”

Both Bucky and Becca said “awwwww.”, making their mother blush and laugh.

“And how are things over there?” Bucky asked.

“Oh dear, you father decided to remodel the garage. Again.” she made a funny face.

“Oh no!” Bucky laughed, “How far you think he will go this time?” Bucky sat on the kitchen island, her back to the apartment. Her mother got somewhat calmer when she saw that Bucky was taking care of things and herself.

“He won’t make further than the garage doors.” Becca’s voice came from somewhere, making them laugh.

“The doors are really dreadful.” her mother agreed.

“Every summer is the same mom, he needs projects!” Bucky jokes.

“Drives me up the wall! He… oh dear!” her mother stammered, as the same time she heard a familiar click. “I didn’t know you had company Bucky, sorry! We can call back later!” her mother blushed.

_What?_

“What are you talking about, mom?” she frowned.

“Bucky!” she scolded, “No need to be like that! You’re an adult, live in your own place now, you can have company if you want, no need to be shy!”

“Mom, honestly, what are you _talking about_?” she was beyond confused now.

Her mother made a face, rolled her eyes and pulled the phone closer to her mouth to… whisper, really? “I’m talking about the gentleman I just saw close your bathroom door!”

Bucky froze. She turned slowly and there it was. Bathroom door closed. Again. Holding her panic inside, she turned back to her mother and tried to look as calm. “You saw someone there?”

Her mother blushed again. “I didn’t see anything indecent!” and Bucky barked a laugh. How was this her life? “I just saw an arm and a shadow close it, I imagine the person in there wanted privacy, since you’re making a video chat with the door open. Honestly!” she huffed.

There was a motion blur and Becca´s face showed up. “Are you seriously saying that you're dating and didn’t tell me?” she made an angry face.

“No, no!” she was panicking, no way back now. “Look, I have to go check on something...” and she could hear her mother’s teasing voice _hmmm, something!_ in the background, “I will call you back!” and before either of them could say anything, she shut the call.

With shaking hands, Bucky put the phone on the table and turned to the bathroom door. She walked past her desk and got her baseball bat, holding firmly in her right hand. Her left hand was weak since the accident, and was shaking too bad. This shaking hand opened the door with a bang and she jumped into the bathroom. Empty. She even checked the tub, but nothing.

“What the f…” a noise from the living room made her jump. As if someone was clearing their throats, a reprimand. She put the baseball over her shoulder, holding firmly, and walked slowly back to the living room. No one there. She checked the windows, under the bed and couch, the fire escape, even the hallway. Nothing.

“Calm down Bucky,” she said to herself “Your mother saw someone, if there’s anyone crazy, that’s her. You’re fine.” She checked the locks, and turned all the lights on. She spent a couple of hours patrolling the apartment, but nothing else seemed off. She spent the afternoon working, feeling like something would appear out of thin air.

When evening fell and she finally finished her work, she started to make plans for dinner, and tidied up a little. When she was walking to her bedroom she noticed that the armchair had gone back to its original place. Looking at the bed, her clothes were folded where she left them tangled. She came close to the bed as if it was a snake..

“What the h…” she shook her head. This was impossible. She turned to go back to the living room, maybe she could sleep on the couch tonight, but froze.

There, at the door, was a man.

He was tall, blond… and holly shit, seemed like the guy she dreamed about. She stood stock still, staring at him with huge eyes and slack jaw. He was leaning on the threshold, arms crossed, looking at her a little sadly.

None of them moved, Bucky too shocked. His face though, changed from sad, to intrigued and then to curious. When he took a step closer, Bucky jumped with a shout, stepping back and crashing the back of her legs on her armchair, tumbling backwards, the chair and all, to the ground.

“What…” he started to say.

“Who the _HELL_ are you?” Bucky shouted at him, trying to stand up from her fall. “I'm calling the police!”

“Wait, wait!! You can see me??” he asked now with the huge eyes and slack jaw.

“Listen here, punk!! Don’t think that I don’t know you’ve been messing around in my home!” she got up, a finger to his face, making him cross eye for a moment. “I don’t know how you have been getting in and out, but I’m on to you! Think it’s funny, to scare me with these stupid ghost tricks?”

“Look ma’am, there’s something going on here…”

“Oh, you bet there is!” she said furious “I’m calling the police on your ass!” Her dammed phone was in the kitchen though. She just had to go thru him to get it.

“Please!” he asked, desperation on his tone. “Just hear me out! I’m not playing tricks, I promise!”

“Are you even going to tell me, at least, how you’ve been getting inside? This building has some fucking security issues!”

“I live here!” he explained.

“Look pal, I rented this place, **_I_ ** live here.” she said pointing at herself, then something dawned . “Oh God, you still have a key from when you lived here! That’s illegal!”

“No, no!” he extended his hands to her, in a calming gesture. “Look, I have been here for a while, yes, but no one has ever seen me before! I used to live here, in this building.”

Bucky stared at him. “Been here for a while…” she gasped, furious, “You were here that night watching me sleep, you fucker!!” she crouched, picking a stray shoe from the floor and threw it at his face.

Only, instead of the satisfying crunch she was hoping for, the shoe went straight thru him.

As if he was… a ghost.

“What the hell…” she looked, stunned.

The man, ghost, whatever, just sighed (sighed!) and gave her the most powerful “I’m disappointed in you” face she has ever seen. Ouch.

“You have a potty mouth, you know that?”

Bucky just felt the corners of her vision darken, and she was fainting like there was no tomorrow.

 

______________

 

Steve didn’t know what to do.

Looking at the fainted woman on the ground, he sighed again. It’s not like he could pick her up. There were so few things he could touch at all, and other people were not one of them. Thankfully she didn’t hit her head on the way down. Just fell into her face, clumsy. Turning the armchair up again, he sat down and looked at her.

She could _see_ him. She _talked_ to him.

How long has it been, since he had a conversation with anyone?

Since he had woken up in this place, no one, in years, ever saw or heard him. He saw many people come and go. Sometimes, he thinks he lost track of time, for when he turned, other people would there. But he always stuck in this place. His home. This apartment that he use to live with his mother. He lived here after she died, and right before he went to war. When he got strong enough to fight, he would dream of coming back, of getting back his life, but that never happened. He died before that. Frozen on the ocean.

And that’s the mystery, isn't it. If he was dead, why was he here at all? Was this some sort of purgatory?

After all these years, finally, someone saw him. Now he could try to find some answers..

 

___________

 

Bucky woke with a pain in the neck. She was face down on the floor. What?

Grumbling, she pushed herself up to sit on the floor. And came face to face with a man sitting on her armchair, looking expectantly at her.

“Oh no…” she whispered.

“Sorry, I couldn’t catch you.”

She scrambled to her feet, moving away towards the door. He got up, intending to follow her.

“Ah ah ah!!” she pointed at him. “I know exactly what’s going on here. You stay right there!”

He watched curious while she went to the kitchen, and got a box from the top of the fridge. She put the box on the table and frantically looked inside.

“I must have forgotten one of my meds! That’s why I am hallucinating.” she talked to herself.

“Look, ma’am, I am really here…”

“Listen, hot dream man, there has to be a rational explanation for this.”

Steve frowned at the nickname, shook his head, and came walking slowly closer to her.

“Can I try to explain? You’re the only one that can help me.”

“Ha! Help him…” she mumbled, but was sad to see all her medication was in order. So much for that. She looked at his hopeful face and sighed. “Fine!” she put her medications back on top of the fridge. “Since I am insane already, might as well go all the way.” she pulled a high bench from under the counter and sat, crossing her arms.

He sat across from her, “My name is Steve.” he cleared his throat. “Nice meeting you ma’am.”

She looked suspicious. “I’m Jane. But everyone calls me Bucky.”

“Okay, Bucky. Well… like I said, I have been here for a while, but I’m not exactly here.”

‘And where exactly are you, Steve?” she asked mockingly.

“I am dead.”

Bucky just stared at him. “Sorry, what?”

“I am dead. I remember it. My death”

“That is so creepy.” she whispered.

“For some reason, I woke up in here. I used to live in this apartment in my youth, with my mom. I have no idea why I am here.”

“How long ago? Can you tell?”

“I died in World War II”

“Oh my God… I’m sorry?” she said clumsy.

“It’s ok. I didn’t die in vain, so there’s that.”

Bucky looked at him more carefully. He was tall, broad shoulders, and blond hair parted sideways in an old fashioned way. He was wearing brown pants, and a white dress shirt, open at the top and sleeves folded to his elbows, with suspenders dropping at his sides. He had a strong jaw, and bright blue eyes. He did look “vintage”. “I still can’t believe this.”

“I still can't believe someone is finally seeing me.”

”I saw you the other night. You were in my chair and I thought you were a dream and I spoke to you!”

Steve blushed a little. “I thought you were drunk.”

Bucky reached her hands suddenly, putting her hand over Steve’s. It went right thru him too. She gulped. This was impossible.

“You know what?” she said suddenly looking at the clock. Half past midnight. “This is definitely some crazy dream. I’ll just go to bed and all of this will be gone in the morning.”

“What?” he asked alarmed.

“I am obviously dreaming of you now, I already dreamt of you the other day, how stupid....” she said more to herself then Steve, as she got up and started walking to her bedroom.

“Wait, wait! Bucky, please hear me out!” he walked after her.

“Uh-uh, can’t hear you.”

“You just answered me!” he opened his arms wide.

She looked at his face with a frown, before closing her bedroom door with a bang.

Steve sighed. Fine. If this was how it was going to be, fine. If there was one thing he had a lot of, it was _patience_.

 

__________

 

Bucky woke up with a headache. After twisting and turning in bed for most part of the night, she must have fallen asleep at some point. Hopefully the blonde hallucination would be gone, and this was all as crazy dream.

If she was hallucinating things that real, she would need to find a doctor. They would change her medications. That would be a nightmare. It took ages for her to get used to ones that didn’t leave her feeling like shit. After the accident, she needed this for her anxiety. She used to have panic attacks just thinking about leaving the house. All of that was gone. Or so she hoped.

With her mind set, she got up early and decided she would definitely NOT see a blond man in her apartment anymore. Easy.

Opening the door a crack, she spied the living room. No one there. She left the bedroom cautiously, looking around. All quiet.

Hm. With a little relieved sigh, she went to her bathroom. As she was about to open the (closed) door, it opened from inside, and hot dream man, Steve whatever, stepped out.

“Jesus!” she stepped back, clutching her chest.

“Good morning Bucky!” he said jovially.

She pinched between her eyes. “Steve. You’re still here?” she asked grumpily.

“I live here, like I said.” he said with a huge smile. “Did you sleep well, roommate?”

She frowned at him. “No, not roommates!” she snapped, then looked at him, suspicious. “I know what’s going on here.” she said pointing at him.

“Yeah?” he said innocently.

“You’re going to haunt me, just like… in Ghost. You are my Patrick Swayze.” she said transfixed, looking at him.

To his credit, he looked only half confused. “Who?”

“Maybe I am a medium?” she touched her chin, now talking to herself, and entering the bathroom and closing the door.

Steve just looked at the closed door confused. That was a weird gal.

After a few minutes she was done, and left the bathroom, looking at Steve suspiciously, while he followed her to the kitchen.

After she made a chocolate milk for herself, she sat again on the counter.

“Okay, I’ll bite.” she said, looking at him. “If you’re real… or a real ghost, whatever… I guess you’re going to be around until I help you, I don’t know, finish some unfinished business?” she pointed to the bench opposite to her, like the previous night.

Steve didn’t know anything about any unfinished business, but she was finally listening to him, so that was a win. He sat down, and looked at her pleading.

“Look ma’am, I actually have no idea why I am stuck in this place. I tried to leave a couple of times, but I just end waking up in here again. I have been here for a while…”

“Seventy years.”

“What?” he said surprised.

“You said you died in World War II. That was like… seventy years ago.. seventy three of the end of the war.”

He looked shocked. “Seventy…” No wonder things looked so different. The people who came and left the apartment, each one different from the other. He had no idea it had been so long.

He looked back at Bucky. She looked at him a little sadly. She looked nothing like the girls he was used to in his time in Brooklyn. Her clothes, hair… her potty mouth.

“I didn’t know.” he said in a whisper.

“I’m sorry, Steve.” she said, with a little sad smile. “What do you wanna do?”

“I want to know why I am here.” he said, facing her. “ But… I wouldn’t mind someone to talk to. Gosh, it's been a long time alone.”

Her heart broke a little for him. “Okay…fine... I’ll help you. We’ll figure it out.”

“Thanks ma’am.” he smiled.

She stared at him for a moment. Shaking her head, she said “No ma’am, please. Just Bucky.”

“Okay. Thanks Bucky.” with a even bigger smile. Something tightened in her chest.

Oh boy, she was doomed.

“‘I’m gonna put something together to eat….do you.. eat?”

“Not really. Never felt hungry.”

“So freaky.” she whispered, while she prepared a cheese sandwich. “So, you never realized I was seeing strange things in the apartment? Voices, moving things?”

“I see things in different ways sometimes. I honestly thought I was imagining your reactions.”

“I was going crazy about the bathroom door, for chrissakes!” she exclaimed.

“I used to be sick a lot, my medicine cabinet would be in the bathroom. It became of a sort of safe place.” he explained, blushing a little.

“That's why the door always closed.” she mumbled, putting her food on the table.

“I didn't do it on purpose. Sorry about that.”

She frowned at her breakfast. “My mom saw you… thru the phone camera.” he frowned too. “It’s possible the other people here saw you too. Maybe that is why no one stayed here for long? Thought the place was haunted.” she snorted. “Well, it actually is.” she said, looking at him.

“I saw a lot of people here, but none of them could see me. I don’t think so.” he commented, looking intrigued.

“They might have had impressions of you, though, like I was having. Oh God, my neighbor. Ms Rivera must know something about you, that’s why she looks at me funny and don’t want to come here.” she shook her head.

“I never really meant to scare anyone.” he said, blushing a marvelous shade of red.

“Nevermind that. I was thinking, maybe we could search the internet for any records of your death.”

“Internet?”

“It's like an open... library... you can access anywhere with a computer or cell phone.”

“Sounds sweet!”

 _So do you, s_ he thought, smiling at him. She finished her food, and left the plate and mug on the sink. Then she went to her computer, Steve on her heels, and went to Google.

“Okay, what's your full name?” she asked, sitting on her chair.

“Steven Grant Rogers.” he said, leaning his hands on his knees, and looking at the screen.

Bucky stopped before typing. She looked at Steve, who looked embarrassed. Really looked at him. He did look familiar. Quickly typing the search, she confirmed what she almost sure about.

“Steve…” she said with a fake smile. “Why didn’t you mention that you are Captain Fucking America?”

“I was going to.” he quickly replied.

“When exactly?” she grumbled.

“When it became relevant. Which just did! I was Captain Freaking America, yes.” he nodded.

Bucky rolled her eyes back to the screen, trying not to freak out. There wasn’t much known about Captain America’s private life, or his life before the super serum. Most documents contained only war registers. Now he was what? Her resident ghost?

She rubbed her eyes. “Well, this will make things easier and harder at the same time.” At his confused face, she went on. “There are tons of information about you on the internet, but not much after you…. died.”

Steve came closer and looked mystified at all the news and photos of himself. She browsed a little, rolling and clicking the pages for him to see.

“Well, we should take this slow, then.” he said sheepishly.

She snorted. “Indeed. Actually,” she looked at the clock, almost nine. “I need to meet a client for lunch today, and have somethings to do in the city before it.”

“Oh, okay.” he seemed a little saddened to be left alone.

“We can try to find some news when I get back, ok?”

“Okay.” he said, with a handsome smile.

Shaking herself off of staring at him, she went to her room to change. She put on some skinny jeans and a long sleeved black shirt.

“Right, I will try to be back by three, don’t trash the apartment while I am away.” she joked, getting her purse and laptop.

He giggled. Gosh, giggled. “Okay Bucky. See ya later.”

Staring at him for a moment, she commited all the details to her memory. Just in case, you know… that he would be gone when she got back. While riding the subway, she hoped he would still be there.

 

_____________

 

The address that Rollins gave her on the phone was a airy store on a busy street, in Lower Manhattan. When she walked in, there was no one in sight, but there was a sign called “STRIKE - Personal Security”, with a crossbone skull on the front, so she figured it was the right place.

“Hello?” she called out.

Steps came down a side stair, and a tall man, with dark hair came close to her. “Yes, how may I help you?” he asked with a little smile.

“I’m Jane Barnes, the accountant?” she shook hands with him.

“Oh! Yes! I’m Jack, we spoke on the phone. Nice to meet ya.” he said smiling.

“Me too.” she smiled back.

“My partner is out for a few errands, but we can look into the service now, if you wish?”  
  
“Sure!”

Rollins showed Bucky to an office, and together then went over all the details and all the documents they had to start their accountancy.

“We are terrible with numbers, it will be nice to leave it at the hands of someone who actually knows what they are doing.” he joked, after they had organized and arranged all the papers..

“Well, numbers are my friends, yours will be safe with me.” they laughed, while Bucky put the papers on a folder to take home.

"What's so funny?” a voice asked from the door. Bucky and Rollins turned to see a man standing with his hands on his waist.

Bucky froze.

_No. Way._

It was Brock, the Red Room Assholle, (how she now called him).

“Hey Brock!” This is Jane Barnes, she will be our accountant.” he said standing up, pointing his hand to her.

Bucky swallowed, and got up to greet him.

“Hello, Jane Barnes.” she said a little dry, shaking his hand.

“Brock Rumlow.” he said back. He released her hand, looking intrigued at her. “Have we met before?”

“Dude.” Rollins grabbed him by the neck, “Leave the lady alone.” he said jokingly. “Forgive him Miss Barnes, he’s a caveman sometimes.”

 _Don’t I know it?_ She thought, with a snarky smile. If the guy didn’t remember her, it was for the best, she wouldn’t need to meet him that much, making all her work from home. She wouldn’t need to give up on the money from this job.

“Well, everything is okay with your papers, Mr Rollins, I’ll send all the rest of the info, and the next month papers by email, ok? Any doubts, you have my phone.”

“Very good, thanks a lot, Miss Barnes.”

They shook hands again, Rumlow looking intrigued at her the whole time.

She couldn’t leave the place fast enough.

As she was crossing the bridge back to Brooklyn, she shuddered. Maybe she should have refused the job. But working from home demanded that you take as many clients as you could deal. The money for her meds and bills came from this hard work. And no way she would let a douche like Rumlow ruin her incomings.

“It's okay Bucky.” she said to herself in a whisper. “You won’t need to see the jerk at all, working from home.”

But despite her own pep talk, she arrived home with a sour mood.

She locked the door behind her, and almost dropped her things, gasping loudly when she saw Steve right behind her. All the stress made her literally forget about Steve.

“Jesus!” she grabbed her things, saving her laptop from a fall. “Steve, for fuck’s sake…”

He frowned at her. “Language.”

She snorted, dropping her folders and laptop on the couch, sitting right beside them. “Is this gonna be a thing? You and bad words?” she teased.

He sat down at the other end of the couch. “Is this gonna be a thing, you swearing all the time?” he teased back.

“Fair enough. I'll try to control my devious mouth around you, princess.”

“I’ll believe it, when I see it.” he teased. They giggled, and Bucky's heart warmed a little. “What happened? You got home upset.”

She scowled. “I just found out that my new client’s partner is an ass.. erm… jerk I met one day at a bar.”

“Did he try to improperly seduce you?” he asked seriously.

Bucky stared at him. “You don’t really talk like that, do you?”

Steve remained serious for half a second, before smiling deviously. “Nah, just pulling your leg.”

She laughed. “Punk.” she said fondly. “He actually thought I was a hooker, and asked for my ‘price” she said making air quotes.

Now Steve looked properly angry. “That's no way to treat a dame.” she said frowning.

“Well, my sister thought it was hilarious.” she said mockingly.

“You have a sister?”

“Yeah, Rebecca. She's 10 years younger… I feel freaky old next to her.”

“I was an only child, always wanted a brother.” he commented.

Bucky stared at him again. It was hard to believe this… man? Ghost?... of Captain America was living in her ancient apartment, and looked so human and emotional like. She must be very lucky to have connected with him, when so many others just left the apartment.

“How was it, back when you lived here?”

Steve smiled, turning sideways to face Bucky on the couch. “It wasn’t easy. My mom and I always had to work hard to keep food on the table, and keep this place.”  
  
“What did your mother do for a living?” she asked, curious. There wasn’t much known about Captain America’s life before he took the super serum that turned him into a super soldier. Maybe the government wanted to preserve a mystique about him or some shit.

“She was a nurse, her name was Sarah.” he smiled, remembering. “She used to work a lot, making double shifts at least twice a week. I was sick a lot, when I was a kid… I mean, up until I got that serum, I was still sick a lot. I have no idea how I survived the army basics!” he laughed.

“It’s hard to picture you being small.” she commented, subtly looking him over.

“I was the smallest. Couldn’t find work anywhere back then, had to make my own work from home.”

“What did you do?”

He laughed a little. “Well, I used to draw, make illustrations for newspapers or stores. I couldn’t exactly make a living out of it, but it helped my mom.”

“That’s cool” she whispered.

He laughed again. “Well, when I was an asthmatic, sickly guy, it was all I could do, sit and draw. I like to think I was good at it.”

“You would have tons of places to work nowadays.” she said.

“Oh yeah?”

“Definitely. Illustrators are a big hit.”

“I understand you work from home too?”

Bucky shifted a little uncomfortable. “Yeah, I work as an accountant. I have several people and companies that I take care of their numbers.” she shrugged.

“That sounds like a handful for one person. You should work with a team.” he commented.

“Yeah well… the thing is… I work at home because it was hard for me to work out there for a while.” And why did she just spill that out?

“Why is that?” he asked, looking curious.

Normally she would feel a spike of anxiety, talking about the accident. But Steve felt different. He looked genuinely curious, not judgemental at all. She felt confident, and felt herself answering.

“I was in a car accident, five years ago.” she said in a rush, “I used to have some pretty stupid friends in High School, and I ended up in a party one night, without my mom knowing about it. I wasn’t used to drink, but that night I did, a lot, I don’t know why. Around 2 AM, my mom got me on my phone, so angry, and I lied saying I was in my friend Jemma’s house, that I would come home soon. I begged one of the other guys to drive me home, but they were as drunk as I was. His name was Alex, he was a big spoiled rich brat. But the only one with a car, so he said he would drive me. The thing was, he was too drunk to drive, and he tried to grab me on the way home. When he tried to put his hands under my clothes, I slapped him, and he got so mad… there was a struggle, and he lost control of the car. I wasn’t wearing a seatbelt, and when the car turned, it crushed my arm. I almost lost it, and I’ve been in and out of hospitals and therapists worth a lifetime. My mom’s face was the worse, she was so dissapointed. Alex had a rich family to shut down the story, and I never told anyone about him trying to attack me. Right after the accident, I used to have panic attacks or anxiety crisis around too many people. I still have to take some meds for my anxiety. My arm is useless for more than opening a door or a drawer, I lost most of the muscle strength. I have scars all over it.” she couldn't believe that she said all of that. She never told anyone, in so many words before. It felt… liberating. Letting someone else know. Not even her family knew the whole story.

Steve just looked subtly to her arms, covered by the long sleeved shirt.

“You should have accused the guy.” he said softly. “You didn’t deserve that.”

“I know.” she sighed, “But too many things happened back then. My mom and dad… gosh, they were so upset. My mom thought for a while I was an actual alcoholic, behind their backs. My dad grounded me, and I was only allowed to leave for school and doctors. I knew it was just as hard for them, so I didn’t want to upset them even more.”

“Was that why you started to work at home, because you were grounded?”

“Kinda!” she laughed a little, “I knew I would need to get out in the world eventually, but I had panic attacks just thinking about leaving the house. I was very good with math, my dad asked me to make his taxes that year. And I felt good, at doing something I could control and knew how to do well. His spread some word around to his friends, who spread to their friends, and I managed to get a lot of clients in a short time. I saved the money while I was living with them, and after a couple of years, and a lot of therapy, I decided to move back here, to Brooklyn. I would be stuck, if I stayed in D.C. forever.”

He looked a little surprised, then focused again on her. “You think it’s gonna work out, with this new job you got? The guy already got inappropriate with you.”

“I think so. Most of my work is made online, I exchange emails…” at his confused looked she added, “That are like virtual letters, sent by the internet, I don’t actually meet all my clients in person. Some are from other states. So I’ll just try to keep this one mostly online too.”

He nodded, seeming satisfied too.

Bad day, Becca’s ringtone caused both of them to jump.

“Oh man.” Bucky got the phone in her hands, looking at it in trepidation. “My sister.” she had half  a mind to let it ring, but Becca would just keep calling.

“What is it?” he asked.

“My mom saw you on the last video call we had, and she thinks I am dating someone, and didn’t tell her.”

Steve made an “Aww shucks” face..

“Don’t say anything.” she said to him, facing Steve so the front camera would not get him. He just looked intrigued.

“Hey!” Bucky said with enthusiasm, to her sister’s frowny face.

“Cut the crap, jerk!” she said without patience. “Tell me, are you dating or not?” and oh, if looks could kill…

“Look, I am not dating.”

“Oh, and who was that man in your bathroom yesterday?”

Carefully not looking at Steve from the top of her phone, she said “It was the janitor. I got a leaky faucet.”

“The janitor.” Becca answered skeptically.

“You think I would bring a date to my home just like that Beca?”

“Why did you get all weird? You hanged up on us!”

“I… I don’t want mom to think I can’t handle things, ok? She already worries too much!” that much was too true.

“You know that once you meet someone you’ll have to tell me first thing, right?”

“Yes, mother.” Bucky answered playfully.

“Oh you’re so funny… not.”

“Go bother mom, and tell her to not tell the family I am dating.”

“Too late for that I’m afraid. See ya!” she shut the call with a devious smile.

“What??” Bucky shook the phone in her hands, but her sister had already signed off. “Jesus mom…” she shook her head.

Steve was watching the scene amused.

“Don’t say anything Steve.” she warned, getting up to put her work stuff beside her computer.

“Wasn't gonna!” he said innocently.

“You know what? We should probably start trying to figure out what’s up with you.”

“How?”

  
Bucky turned to him, holding her hands together, a picture of excitement “I had a great idea today: I am gonna find a psychic!” she said excitedly.

Steve just stared.

“I mean, it worked on the movie.” she said to herself, when she saw his lack of enthusiasm.

“What movie?”  
  
“Nevermind!” she complained, sitting at her office chair. “Let’s see… one place we can walk to...” and Bucky googled the names of psychics in New York, much to Steve’s bemusement.

“One little problem though.” he commented.

“What is it?”

“I can’t leave the apartment.” Bucky stared at him. “I tried.”

Twisting her mouth, she said “We’ll need someone who makes attendance at home, then.”

Much to their surprise, after a few frustrated phone calls, a woman named Nellie accepted to pay Bucky a visit, that same day. The hundred fifty bucks it would cost them was a big incentive.

Around 8 pm, their doorbell rang. Bucky answered the door with Steve right behind her.

“Good evening!” an older lady, with long curly dark hair and thick glasses was at their door.

“Hi, I’m Jane, please come in.” she gestured to the apartment, Steve looking curiously at the woman.

Nellie walked in, right past Steve, and looked around the living room. “Can you explain some more about your problem dear?”

“Erm, yes. I have been… noticing some things in the apartment… like… doors closing, odd noises… disembodied voices…” Bucky talked while following Nellie around the living room. Her and Steve agreed to not tell the woman she could see his ghost. They wanted to see if she could sense him first.

“This apartment has a lot of history.” she commented.

Steve rolled his eyes. “Oh please.” he complained.

She continued, not hearing his words. “So many people lived here, you can be experiencing a lost soul.”

“Right.” Bucky commented. “And… how exactly does that work?”

“A lost soul can stay fixed to a place that they have unfinished business with.”

Bucky looked at Steve, behind Nellie’s back, with an _I told you so_ face. Steve rolled his eyes again, leaving their side to sit at the bench at the kitchen counter.

“But what if…” Bucky turned back to Nellie, who was watching the bathroom intently, “What if this soul doesn’t know or accept that it needs closure to something?”

Nellie looked at Bucky, large glasses making her eyes like an owl’s.  “A spirit always finds its way, sooner or later.” she continued looking over the apartment. “I would like to contact this entity, if you let me.”

“Hm… sure.” she said, coming closer to Steve, while Nellie sat on the couch and closed her eyes.

“This is stupid.” Steve muttered.

“Shut it.” Bucky mouthed at him.

“I feel a lot of longing, and wishful thinking.“ Nellie said. She had her eyes closed, her hands over her knees. “Maybe it wants something really bad. Maybe it doesn’t know what it is exactly, but it longs so much. A connection, perhaps.”

Steve looked skeptic. Bucky felt the speech was a little too close to heart.

Nellie opened her eyes looking at Bucky. “What is it you wish to do, Miss Barnes? Help or get rid of it?”

A strange chill came down Bucky's back, at the thought of “getting rid” of Steve as if he was a bug. He was a long dead war hero, with his soul trapped in his old home. If anyone should leave, it should be Bucky.

“I would like to help him.” she said decided.

“Him?” Nellie asked with a grin.

“I mean…” she flushed, “It. Help it!” Steve snickered.

“Well,” Nellie came close to Bucky and Steve, “As far as I can tell, you are already making excellent work.” She touched Bucky's left hand, and she barely suppressed a flinch. “I believe my visit here was not needed after all. You don’t need to pay me, dear. Have a good evening, both of you.” and with a mysterious smile she walked to the door, leaving without another word.

Bucky and Steve stood frozen, watching her go, then faced each other with confused faces.

“What a phony.” Bucky complained crossing her arms.

“Seriously, and people like her charge that much money?” he agreed, crossing his own arms.

“What did she mean, I am doing a excellent job? I am not doing anything!”

“Well, it was worth a try.” he shrugged.

“We’ll try the internet again.” Bucky nodded.

“Oh Boy.”

 

\------------------------

 

Bucky wasn’t completely prepared for a roommate.

Sometimes Steve just popped up where she was, scaring the crap out of her. She had a suspicion he was doing it on purpose. Sometimes he disappeared for hours. Sometimes she completely forgot he was a ghost.

They made an arrangement for Steve to “sleep” in the living room. Not like he needed it.

He would hang around while she was working, and would tell her a little about the place. Bucky would split her time between work and searching for ways to explain Steve’s situation.

For a long time, Bucky didn’t have a person she could talk like this, that would not betray her secrets, would not judge her insecurities. She felt…. Safe. Steve made her feel safe.

Steve enjoyed all the time he could spend with Bucky. After so many years in silence, and not being able to talk to anyone, he would pester her, asking all kinds of questions about the things she used.

“What's this?” he asked one day, eyeing the device at her office table.

“It’s a tablet.”

“Hm. And what’s a tablet for?”

“It's a smaller version of a laptop, which is a smaller version of a computer.”

“How does it work?”

“You can touch the screen to use it, and see videos, take photos, browse the internet, and all that stuff.” she answered distracted, while working.

“Hm.” he curiously touched the screen and was surprised to see it light up.

“Wow!” she said, looking at her tablet.

“That's nice!” he commented.

“I didn’t know you could touch things, Steve!”

“Most things I can’t.” he looked back, shrugging.

“This is a big deal! You can use the internet as well!” and she patiently showed him where to go and look for information. Steve looked amazed at the practicality of it all. “Tell me if you find anything, ok?” and she went back to work.

Steve was intrigued. Instead of writing down his own name on this “google”, he wrote another name.

_Margaret Carter._

Steve held a gasp as several pictures of Peggy showed up. Articles about her work and a handful of interviews. Some images of her as he remembered her. Others, she looked older… he read a header of a video link: **“Agent Margaret Carter reminisces Captain America.”**

Gulping, he clicked the video.

“That was a difficult winter.” Peggy’s lovely accent voice and face made his heart clench. “A blizzard trapped half of our battalion behind the German line. Steve…” she stopped herself, before continuing. “Captain Rogers, he fought his way thru a HYDRA blockade, that had pinned our allies down for months. He saved over a thousand men. Including… the man who would become my husband, as it turned out. Even after he died, Steve is still changing my life.” she said with an emotional smile.

Steve felt his eyes sting, and looked up, staring at Bucky, who was staring back a him with curious eyes.

“Are you ok?” she asked.

He cleared his throat. “Yeah. Yeah, it’s just… it was nice to hear her voice again.”

Bucky turned her chair towards him. “Were you guys… a couple?”

Steve remembered their kiss. Peggy in her red dress in that pub in London.

“No… we didn’t have time for it.” he said sadly. Peggy had married. Moved on with her life. Of course, that’s what she should have done. Still… it ached.

“She is a very inspirational woman, you know? Women had to fight twice as hard to get their place back then. She did wonderful work, and is an example to lots of women.”

“Peggy was one of the few people who believed in me, even before I got this serum.”

Bucky made a pensive face. “Would you like to try to contact her?”

“What?” he asked surprised.

“As far as I know, she is still alive. She lives in Washington.” she explained.

Steve was frozen. He then, shook his head. “No… what would I even say.” he sighed.

“Alright. If you change your mind, let me know.” she smiled a sweet smile, that Steve was now used to see in her face, anytime she looked a him. It warmed his heart.

“Thanks.” he cleared his throat again, closing down the tablet. “I think I had enough for today.” and leaving the tablet on the table, he got up. When Bucky blinked, he was gone.

Steve disappeared like that sometimes. She hated when that happened.

 

___________

 

After 4 days, Steve was still missing.

Bucky really hated it.

She had gotten used to his voice, his presence. Now, her apartment felt empty. She felt lonely, and hoped everyday that he wasn’t gone for good. Her daily calls with her sister only distracted her for a while, and her job was a poor replacement to Steve’s constant chatter.

On the fifth day, she woke up, feeling a sharp pain on her arm. Nothing new, she would get days like these, she had been lucky this was her first one since she moved back to New York. Already knowing what to do, she walked to the bathroom in a sour mood, and started to fill the tub.

She undressed, keeping her bra and panties on, and sat on the hot water, coming to her shoulders. Crossing her legs underwater, she stretched her left arm completely, touching the bottom of the tub. With her right hand she started to massage carefully her sore muscles.

The hot temperature sent pain flares thru her arm, before relaxing again. This was a terrible thing to do alone. Her mother used to help her. For the first time, she felt the weight of the distance from her family, and felt her eyes fill with tears.

Starting to cry silently, she looked at her scarred arm. What if it had been better to have lost it? Would things be better, if she had only one arm and not this constant reminder of what happened to her?

Crying silently, she raised her leg touched her forehead to her knees, cradling her arm against her belly. It sucked to be alone. Where was Steve?

As if summoned by thought, she heard a small voiced “Bucky?”

Looking sideways, she saw Steve crouched beside the tub, looking distressed at her, his hand extended, as if he wanted to touch her neck. God, it was so good to see him.

“What’s going on?” he asked softly.

“Bad arm day.” she sniffed. She felt her throat sore and eyes puffed with tears.

He frowned and sat beside the tub, close to her. “Let me see?”

She sat up straight again, and slowly lifted her arm to the side of the tub. She never showed her arm to anyone outside her family before.

Steve looked at her arm with curiosity. “Where does it hurt?”

She lightly touched the outer side of her elbow. “A wave of pain shoots from this side. The hot water helps to ease it. Hurts on my shoulders, and my hands shake a lot.”

Steve looked at her hand, resting at the side of the tub, and saw the tremors on her fingers. The scars close to her wrists were healed, but were uneven, fading a little close to her elbows, but getting worse on her upper arms. Several cirurgical lines made a strangely robotic design close to her shoulders, and the inner side of her arm. He blinked. There was a red star tattooed at the top of her arm.

“What’s this?” he pointed to the red star.

Bucky looked at it, and gave a little smile. “ A couple of years after the accident, my sister had an idea that I could tattoo my whole arm, to disguise the scars. She thought I would feel better about it. My therapist agreed, said that a lot of people hide scars with tattoos, and maybe I should start with something small and see how I felt.” she smiled a shy smile at him. “I asked the guy for this star, and it hurt like hell…” she laughed a little at his face “It hurt a lot, and I knew at the very beginning I would never handle doing it in my whole arm. But I was glad for this one, and I was proud for facing the pain. I never got to make any others, but this little star. In a way, my sister’s bugging and this tatto gave a kick start to do better at… getting better, I guess.” she shrugged,

Steve looked at it again. From an artistic view… it suited Bucky and her arm. Bucky, who was wet, flushed red from the hot water and with red cheeks from crying.

“It’s beautiful.” he said suddenly.

She snorted. “Not it’s not. It’s just a little red star.”

“No. You’re beautiful.”

Bucky looked at Steve in astonishment.

“I mean…” he went on, “You hide your scars from people. Keep them to yourself… but you shouldn’t. They are your story. You are not just a scarred arm Bucky, you’re much more.”

“I don’t know if I can.” she whispered back to him, emotional.

“Look,” he leaned closer, face intense “I used to be a scrawny kid, I had asthma, bronquitis, a bad spine, low immune system, and a hundred other problems with my health. But that never stopped me for fighting for what was right, for what I wanted. I was rejected by the army 6 times before I was finally accepted! You can fight too, for what you want. I believe in you! The world ain’t gonna judge you for your scars. You’re a survivor, Buck.”

Bucky stared at Steve frozen. She looked back at her arm, then at Steve. She finally gave him a sweet smile.

“That was a great speech, Steve.” she teased, a little teary eyed.

He smiled back. “I used to make pep talks for troops and soldiers. Whole battalions.”

She laughed. They stared at each other smiling.

“Is it true that you used to fight in alleys?” she leaned closer to him.

He snorted. “I used to get beat up on alleys, that’s what that was.” he chuckled.

“Why?”

“I hate bullies. I used to pick fights I could not win, but it felt wrong to let it go.”

Bucky looked at him in admiration. “Can I ask you something?” By now they were both sitting, close together, Bucky inside the tub and Steve out.

“Sure.”

“How was it? When you got this serum? Did it hurt?”

Steve released a breath. “Like nothing I ever felt. They gave me a bunch of injections, and closed me in some sort of… capsule. I can’ explain very well… felt like I was getting sunburned, really bad.” he made a face.

“Wow… I would never have the courage.” she said, amazed. “How did it feel? To be so different, all of a sudden?”

Steve was caught a little of guard by the question. Sounded like the kind of question Peggy would make.

“To be honest?” he smiled shyly, “It felt good. I felt all of my life as if I was a prisoner of my own body. I knew it was a one of a kind thing… I felt lucky. I could fight, I wanted to go to war so bad… I wanted to do my part.”

“I only got into one fight, in my entire life.” she commented.

“Really?” he asked humorous.

“An older boy from our school had gotten Becca’s lunchbox away from her, and made her cry. I got a lucky punch, got him straight in the nose.” they giggled.

“That’s the spirit!” he joked.

She felt a little chill, noticing the water had gotten colder. “I’m gonna put some warm PJs and watch TV all day. Wanna join me?”

“Sure thing.”

She got up from the tub in her underwear and Steve stumbled back to get her a towel, handing it to her while looking the other way.

Bucky got the towel suspicious. “Steve.”

He cleared his throat, back to her. “Yeah?”

“Please don’t tell me you never seen a naked woman. You used to tour the country with pin up dancers!”

“Oh for… “ he complained, leaving the bathroom mumbling, while Bucky laughed at his retreating form.

Bucky got into her warm clothes, but wore a short sleeved shirt this time. She wrapped her arm in a comfy sling and when she got to the couch, with a blanket in her arms, Steve smiled slyly.

“Not a word Steve.”

He mimicked a zipper with his lips.

Their movie marathon included: Ghost (which Steve wasn’t amused at all), The Goonies (that Steve enjoyed a lot), Indiana Jones (that Steve thought was completely implausible.) and The Lion King (that made Steve swoon and bable about the animation throughout the movie.)

Steve didn’t disappear anymore that week. Bucky couldn’t be happier.

 

__________

 

Weeks turned into months. Steve and Bucky were in each other’s orbits as much as they could. Bucky was still working her hours, but Steve was always around.

Becca and Winnie noticed that Bucky was wearing short sleeves at home, and cheered and teased her about it.

“I still don’t believe that you’re single.” her mother teased her one day on a group video chat on the computer. “I’m your mother Bucky! You should tell me those things!”

She blushed, feeling Steve’s heavy stare at the back of her neck.

“I’m not dating mom.” she answered for the hundredth time.

“You have a crush then.” her sister interjected. “You’re changed!” she teased.

She wore the short sleeves outside a couple of times, and like Steve said, people didn’t look or ask her about her scars. It felt liberating. Like her worst fears were throw out of the window. She would get a few curious glances, and that was it!

Steve was also changed. He felt more grounded. She even caught him sleeping on the couch one night.

“I wasn't sleeping, I don’t sleep!” he would say, blushing

“Yeah, right.”

Bucky knew it would be a complete mistake to fall for Steve. It was 100% sure to fail and break her heart. She couldn’t touch him, he couldn’t touch her. It was bittersweet. So close and yet so far. She knew it was a love doomed to end badly, but the heart wants what the heart wants.

Steve completely stopped any effort to figure out his situation. Seemed like he was comfortable and happy the way he was.

Bucky wished she could introduce Steve to her family.

Steve wished he could take Bucky out for a date.

If wishes were fishes…

 

__________

 

It was a week in late november, the weather was cold already, and they were home. Bucky was in the kitchen, talking and joking with Becca on the video chat, while Steve was sitting on the computer, with the tablet on the table in front of him. He had taken to read about american history.

A knock on the door called their attention.

Frowning at the door, Bucky got her phone. “Becca, I need to get this, talk to you later.”

“See ya Bucky!” and the sound of the video closing made Bucky put her phone at her back pocket.

“Are you expecting anyone?” Steve asked her.

She just shook her head and opened the door an inch.

_No way._

Brock Rumlow was standing at her door, a smile lighting up his face as he saw her open the door.

_No. Way._

“Miss Barnes.” he greeted her, his smile turning something more nasty.

Bucky was frozen in her spot, and only shock explained why she further opened the door at all.

“What… Mr. Rumlow. What are you doing here?” she asked confused. _What the hell?_

“I knew that I seen you before.” he said, taking a step to enter her apartment. Bucky immediately held the door, blocking the way.

“Well,” she said, angry “if you remember me, you really shouldn’t be here.” At this point, Steve came to her side, and looked around the door at the man in the hallway. “How do you know where I live, anyway?” She had been lucky, and not seen this douche since that day at Rollins office.

“Got the address from your file at the office.” he said with a shrug. “I can’t believe I forgot such a doll like you.”

“You know this jerk?” Steve asked her, but she only nodded subtly to him.

“So I thought we could try again, how about that?” he said with a smirk, trying to get inside again.

“Let me get this straight… you only remembered me after, you know, all these months, and thought you could steal my address, which is not ok by the way, and just show up here for what? A date? A booty call?” she fumed.

Rumlow laughed. “A spitfire, like I remember.” he looked fondly at Bucky. “Come on doll, don’t be so difficult.”

“I’ll show you difficult when I call the police on your ass! This is harassment.” Steve was now right behind Bucky, arms crossed and glaring at Rumlow.

Rumlow’s face closed off and he stepped forward menacing. Bucky held the door as best as she could with her left arm, but felt Steve hold it too, above her shoulders. She felt relief all over. No way this creep could outmatch Captain America.

“Who do you think you are, uh? Think you’re so special, you can’t go out with a guy who gets interested? Are you that stupid?” he said with a sneer.

It all happened very fast.

Steve moved too quickly and next thing she knew, Rumlow was spread on the ground in the hallway, holding his jaw. He looked properly surprised. Also very angry.

“Bitch!” he got up fuming, and then was face planting the floor again, after Steve tripped his ankles. “What the hell!” he screamed angry.

“Tell him to fuck off and not come back, Buck!” Steve pointed at him on the floor.

Bucky was frozen watching the scruffle, and realized that Rumlow must have thought she was the one who punched him. Gathering her courage, she stepped right in front of Steve, and pointed at Rumlow as well.

“Get the fuck out, and don’t come back, asshole.”

“Unless he wants to get punched again.” Steve raged.

“Unless you want to get punched again!” she repeated.

Rumlow got away from her, crawling on his butt, backwards. “Are you crazy?” His jaw showed an impressive purple color already.

“I hope you think twice about harassing women again!”

“You will find him!” Steve said at Bucky ear.

“I’ll find you!” she threatened.

He just got up gingerly and walked off in a hurried pace, not looking back. Once they heard the door down on the lobby bang closed, they released a breath they both had been holding. Looking at each other, they were silent for a moment, then started giggling. The Bucky remembered Brock’s stunned face after being punched and started laughing.

A door further down the hallway opened, and Mrs Rivera put her head out the hallway.

“What’s going on?” she said in her heavy accent.

“Oh!” Bucky gathered her wits, “Oh, it’s nothing, don’t worry, just a wrong address.” she giggled.

“Uh-hum” she looked suspiciously at Bucky, her apartment door, and the halway in general. Without a goodbye she closed the door on them.

Steve and Bucky went back into the apartment, laughing their asses off.

“Oh my God, Steve!” she said after breathless laughter, “that was so awesome!”

“Well, he definitely will lose your address now!” he laughed.

“Oh, that is priceless. He never saw it coming!”

“Felt good to punch that jerk.” he said mischievously.

After they settled, Bucky looked speculatively at Steve. She slowly tried to touch his arm, but like always, her hand went right thru him.

“Worth a try.” she smiled at him. Steve looked back at her with so much longing, that something on Bucky’s heart jumped. “Thanks for that Steve, if it weren’t for you, I have no idea what would have happened.”

“I’ll always be here for you, Bucky.” he said intense.

“Always?”

“I’m not that Patrick Swayze guy. I will always be here. Till the end of the line.”

She had to giggle at his reference. It was a great thought.

_Always._

She was more than ok with that.

“You do realize you said the F word, don’t you?” she teased.

“Oh, bite me!”

“Language, Steve!”

His laughter could have echoed around the building, but Bucky had it only for herself. She was lucky like that.

 

__________

 

Christmas and New Year arrived pretty fast.

On December 24, Bucky took the early train to D.C. to spend the night with her family. She was sad to leave Steve behind, but he promised he would not leave, and she should go see her mother. After much planning, of Steve promising to text her with the tablet, she went to spend the night in Washington.

She sent him lots of pictures on the way, of D.C. and her mother’s place. She missed her parents so much, and it felt great to spend the night in the same room as Becca again. They talked all the way thru the night.

“I’m begging mom to let me go spend the new year’s eve in New York with you. No luck so far…” she lamented.

Bucky laughed. “It wouldn’t be that much exciting Beccs, I’m not spending it on Times Square or anything.” she hoped for a quiet night with Steve.

“Still… she said I could try to go in february, for my birthday, though. If it was ok with you!”

“Of course!” in a way, Steve would meet Becca, even she couldn’t meet him. “We’ll work it out.”

Becca looked at Bucky in the low light of the room. “I’m so glad you came home. We missed you.”

Bucky smiled at her younger sister. “I missed you too.”

“You look different. You look happy.” her sister said. “I was afraid you would not be ok alone in New York. I was afraid your depression would come back, for being alone.”

Something warm in Bucky’s chest made her smile, when she thought, that no, she wasn’t alone at all.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Bucky whispered to her sister.

Becca immediately jumped off the bed, and was under Bucky’s blanket in a blink of an eye.

“What!?” she stage whispered in the middle of the night. Bucky just tried to keep her giggling down.

“I… I think I met someone.” she said shyly.

“ _WHAAT?_ ” she shouted.

“Shhhhhhh!!! Shut your trap!” Bucky covered her mouth.

“Tell me everything!” she begged.

“Well, the thing is...he’s not from here, and we are not in a relationship… I mean, I don’t think we can have a relationship at all, but I really like him.” she said with a sigh.

“What’s his name?”

“Steve.”

“Oh my Gawd!” she hugged Bucky with her hands and legs. “Why can’t you date him? Does he live far? Is he a client?”

“Yeah… I mean, he does live kinda far, I guess.”

"Bucky, long distance relationships happen all the time, lots of them work out!”

_Oh Becca._

“Maybe,” Bucky smiled at her, “But listen to me. Do **NOT** tell this to anyone, you hear me.  This is sort of a big deal to me, and I don’t want anyone to know until, you know… something works out.”

“Cross my heart!” she promised. “Now, tell me, what’s he like?”

Bucky laughed. “No way, I already said too much!”

“Oh, hell no!”

The next day, Bucky helped her mom with the food, and Winnie was happy to see Bucky’s sleeves pushed up her arms while inside the house. She cried a lot when Bucky took the train back to NY, but was glad to see her daughter doing so well.

Bucky was nervous until she arrived home, but felt a crushing relief at seeing Steve again. Jesh, she was only away for a day, and it felt like a month.

“Hey! Did you miss me?”

“What? You left?” he said in a mocking tone.

“Ha-ha! So funny.” she giggled. “What were you up to?”

“I was watching some videos on your tablet. I had no idea that kittens were so popular.”

She laughed. “Were you watching kitten videos since yesterday?” she asked as she left her luggage by her bedroom door.

“Of course not, I watched puppy videos as well.” he joked.

“Come on!” she laughed, sitting next to him on the couch.

“I actually found some music from the forties on this… youtube?”

“Yes?”

“I’ll show you later.” he made a mischievous face.

“Fine, have it your way.”

“How is your family?”

“Fine, the same as always. A little crazy, a little stressful.” she pondered. “I… actually, I… I told my sister about you.”

Steve looked surprised. “Really?”

“I mean, not everything about you, just that I met a new friend. She was worried that I was alone here.” she said a little shy.

“That’s ok. I wish I could meet her.”

“You might. She might come here on her birthday next year.”

“I bet I can find a way for her to tell a lot of embarrassing stories about you.”

“Don’t make me have second thoughts”.

The week leading to new year’s eve was calm. Bucky didn’t have too much work, and Steve was very excited about the evening of the 31st. He couldn’t help but think it would be a date.

Bucky made pasta and vegetables for herself, and they spent hours talking at the table that evening. When the countdown went down on Times Square, they were both on the couch watching on TV.

As the fireworks exploded in the sky, Bucky smiled at Steve. “Happy New Year, Steve.”

Steve felt something in his chest. The apartment was cosy, in the half light in the evening, and little christmas lights on the windows. The smell of Bucky’s dinner was still in the air, and she looked lovely, tucked in the couch like she was.

It was home. Steve was home.

“Happy New Year, Bucky.”

 

_________________

 

It was at the end of January that things changed.

Bucky was excited to have Becca for a few days for her birthday the next month and was making plans to take her to the best places in New York. Steve had learned about “marathons” on Netflix, and had been watching all the cartoons and movies he could. He begged Bucky so she would watch a haunted house series with him.

“You think you’re so funny Steve.” she said.

“You live in a haunted place, have an open mind.”

It was almost evening, on one of those days, Steve’s eyes glued to the TV and Bucky hiding her face from the scary parts, when he felt something.

A pull.

He took a deep breath, and touched his own chest. Weird. It lasted for a while, before it got worse.

“What is it?” Bucky asked, from behind her fingers, looking at him.

“I don’t know. I feel like I have an indigestion. I don’t even eat.” he complained. At his next deep breath, he felt woozy. “I’m light headed too.”

Bucky got up, standing in front of him. “What can I do?”

He didn’t know. He didn’t know what was going on.

“Buck…” was all he could say before he gasped, clutching his chest.

“Steve!” and in a rush, she tried to catch his shoulders, and this time her hands touched him.

Both of them gasped. Steve quickly caught her hand in his in a tight grip.

“I think I’m gonna faint.” he said breathless.

But Bucky saw something worse. Steve’s figure was slowly disappearing around the edges. And this time, in her heart, she knew he wouldn’t come back. Tears immediately came to her eyes.

 _A spirit always finds its way, sooner or later,_ Nellie had said to them.

“No, no! Steve! Hang on!” she said, starting to hyperventilate.

“What’s going on?” he said, dizzy.

“No, God no! You’re not Patrick Swayze, Steve! You have to stay, remember? You promised!”

“Bucky…” he looked at her, his eyes without focus.

“No, no no!!! Steve, stay with me!”

Her hands slipped from his, and like a smoke curtain, he disappeared.

“Steve?” she whispered, frozen in place. She started to look around. Something was wrong. This never happened before. “Oh my God.” she felt breathless.

Bucky quickly ran to the bathroom, and sat inside the tub, like the last time Steve disappeared. She thought with all her will about him, calling him, but this time, he didn’t come back.

 

_______________________

 

Steve opened his eyes to a white ceiling.

Weird.

He didn’t remember falling asleep. Looking around, he sat up slowly, feeling a little sore. He was in  a simple room, with green and whites… a ceiling fan slowly turning, not making any wind. The windows showed buildings outside… where was he?

There was a radio turned on, a baseball game being narrated.

Weird. He was at that game.

He was caught off guard when the door opened, and a woman came in. She was pretty, well dressed. Something was off.

“Good morning. Or should I say, afternoon?” she stood at the end of his bed, smiling at him.

“Where am I?” he asked, angry.

“You’re in a recovery room in New York city.”

It made no sense. He was in a plane… he crashed. He looked out the window again. Something was off.

“Where am I really?”

She lost her composure a little, but kept smiling. “I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

“The game. It’s from May, 1941. I know ‘cause I was there.” she lost her smile instantly. “I'm gonna ask you again.” he got up slowly from the bed, facing her. “Where am I?”

She stuttered a little, “Captain Rogers…”

“Who are you?” he interrupted her. If she was HYDRA, he had to get away.

Just then, two heavily armed men came into the room. Well, Fuck.

Steve threw them at the walls, hoping to stun them, but he was the one stunned, when the walls gave in, to an open room on the other side. What the hell? Looking around he saw the room he was in was some sort of set, a mock room.

“Captain Rogers, wait!” she heard the woman call, but didn’t wait. He ran.

He arrived at a large hallway, when he heard the woman’s voice on the building speakers. “All agents, code thirteen!”

Several men, dressed in suits and tactic vest came after him. Steve just kept on running, he had to leave this place. Finally finding a door outside, he was surprised by the city he saw. It had nothing to do with the one from the fake room window.

Noisy cars and horns sounded all around, and he found himself running in the open traffic. This could not be New York…

Only… wait a minute… he was in the middle of Times Square. It was loud, and had huge screens and too many people. Everything looked different…. and yet… there was a tiny spark of familiarity. As if he had seen this, in a dream.

“At ease soldier!” a voice called. Black cars surrounded him, making some people move away. A man in a black vest, bald with an eye patch came forward, looking apologetically at him. “Look, sorry for that little show back there. We thought it best to break it to you slowly.”

“Break what?”

“You’ve been asleep, Cap. For almost seventy years.”

 

_“Seventy years.”_

 

_“What?” he said surprised._

 

_“You said you died in World War II. That was like… seventy years ago.. seventy three of the end of the war.”_

 

Where did he remember that from? Nothing made sense.

“You gonna be ok?” the man asked, seeing his lost expression.

“Yeah. Yeah I just… I had a date.” he said sadly, remembering of Peggy.

The man introduced himself as Nick Fury, director of an agency called SHIELD. They worked with national security and “enhanced” people, as he called them.

Steve wasn’t listening completely. He let the director’s chit chat fill his head while one of the cars drove them back to SHIELD. They led him to a room on a glass building, one so big and high he could see almost the whole city.

“I know it’s a lot to take in Cap, but take it slow, ok? We’ll talk tomorrow.” Fury said as he left Steve, in what he assumed, was his room now. He knew he had just woken up from a seventy year sleep, but all he could think was… could he get some more?

 

___________

 

To say things haven’t been well for Bucky was an understatement.

It’s been two weeks since Steve disappeared. Two weeks alone in her apartment. She didn’t leave, where would she go?

This was completely expected. She had leaned too much on him, cared too much. Now, he was gone to his… afterlife, whatever, and she was here, alone. Typical.

Becca and her mother noticed something amiss right away. But Bucky didn’t explain, what would she even say? _“Captain America´s ghost was living here, I actually liked liked him a lot, and now he is gone and I am heartbroken.”_ They would think she was insane.

She was barely hanging with her job, having made a few mistakes the last few days, having to start over two important bills. It sucked.

About two weeks before Becca’s birthday, she was at home, her apartment a mess, trying to fix some mistakes on her last job, when the doorbell rang. Cursing, she left her little office and opened the door an inch.

It was Becca and her mom.

“Bucky!” both of them called, excited.

“What?” she looked confused, when both of them hugged her. “Guys, what are you doing here? You were not due till next week!”

“We decided to stay an extra week!” Becca said happily, entering the apartment.

Her mother came close and held her hands. “Baby, you are going thru something, we are here for you.” she said, emotional.

“Oh mom, no, everything is fine…”

“Yeah, right.” Becca said from the couch.

Looking around the apartment, the mess and the piled work, things looked far from fine.

“I’m sorry, I meant to clean up a bit..” she said embarrassed.

“Oh, don’t worry, we are here, and we can do it together.” her mother said, dropping their luggage at the bedroom door.

Cleaning the apartment should have been the last thing on Bucky’s mind at the moment, but her mother was here. Becca was here, and all that she wanted was to not be alone. Should have been a dull thing to do, but in the end, when everything was clean and tidy, she felt worlds better.

While their mother was in the kitchen, Becca whispered to Bucky. “Hey… did something happen? With… Steve?”

Bucky sighed. “He left.”

“Aw Bucks.” and Becca’s hug was the best thing she felt in a long time. “It was his loss.”

Bucky giggled sadly. “I can say it was a mutual loss.”

“Girls, let’s eat while it’s hot!” her mother called.

Winnie’ vegetable soup was famous, and they gathered around the kitchen table to eat.

“Bucky! Did you hear there was a commotion on Times Square a few weeks ago?”

“Hm, not really. What happened?”

“We don’t know, but many cars from the government arrested someone. Right in the middle of Times Square!”

“Sorry mom, I haven’t watched the TV in a while.”

“There was only footage from cell phones, but it was a Men in Black situation, I swear!” Becca said excited.

“I’m glad it wasn’t close to you, I would have been so worried!” her mother commented.

“Work has been a pain lately, I’ve been busy.”

“Sweetie,” her mother touched her hand, “whatever is happening to you, we can help you. That’s why we are here.”

“It’s so complicated, mom.” she sighed.

“We have time, yeah?” her mother smiled.

“Yeah.” Bucky smiled back.

“We should go to Broadway tomorrow!” Becca said excitedly. “Shopping!”

Laughing with her family, the night was a little warmer for Bucky’s heart.

 

__________

 

Steve was thinking this whole “you’re in the future” circus wasn’t much to his liking.

He had more meetings on the past week, then he had back in the war. Everyone wanted to meet him. His “awakening” hasn’t been reported to the public, and he prefered it that way. It was too much to take in. The scene on Times Square as fortunately kept under wraps as much as it could, and he was thankful for the private time.

He liked most of the agents on SHIELD, they reminded him of the army. He learned that Peggy and Howard were two of the founders of SHIELD, and was happy to see what it had become. Nick Fury seemed to keep things on a tight hand, and he shared a few stories with the man.

They designated an agent, Sharon Carter, to him. She was Peggy’s niece, of all people. It felt surreal, Sharon even looked a little like Peggy.

“Aunt Peggy told me so much stories about you, about the war. She is such an amazing woman, I couldn’t help but follow her footsteps. Everything sounded like a big adventure, but she never mentioned the paperwork though.” she commented one day, when they were in the gym.

“How is Peggy doing in Washington?” he asked.

Sharon smiled. “She’s fine. She’s been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s a few years ago. She stays in a retirement home, with doctors. How did you know she was in Washington?”

Steve stopped punching his bag and thought. How did he know?

That was the million dollar question, wasn’t it? Since he woke up, there were hundreds of little things happening that he couldn’t explain.

When he was first handed a smartphone and a tablet, he knew what to do with them. He had never seen these things in his life before. The agents explained the devices to him as if he was toddler.

“Tap your finger here, Captain. Click this icon here, Captain. Use the camera like this, Captain.” So infuriating.

He understood a lot of references from modern TV. He knew about Netflix, Spotify, Youtube.

He kept expecting a blue eyed girl to show up.

He didn’t tell anyone though, because, how could he explain it? They would say his head was messed up from the ice. So he endured the endless lessons from the agents.

He made friends with one agent Phil Coulson, who was a good man, and was patient with Steve.

“He is such a big fan, Steve.” Sharon teased him one day. “He is a well known Captain America collector. He must be over the moon to meet you in person!”

Steve was doubtful, until one day, Phil asked him to sign a bunch of collectors cards. He didn’t know which one of them was blushing more. After the ice was broken, and they joked about it, Steve saved Phil’s number on his own smartphone.

He told the man one day, that he felt like living in a gilded cage, on this glass room at SHIELD. Coulson moved some sticks to get him an apartment on Brooklyn, since it was his old neighborhood. Fury was against it at first, but Steve was in a position he could get almost anything he wanted.

They also gave him a lot of money. A lot. Seemed like thanks to all the years gathering interests, he owned a small fortune since he died. Good thing he came back from the dead, eh? He didn’t understand the numbers, but Bucky was good with them.

 

_Who the hell was Bucky?_

 

Steve was currently on a car with Sharon. She was taking him to a private security office, since the place he was going to live in Brooklyn would need someone on watch. SHIELD had gotten good reviews from this one, so they went to meet the owners. No one knew Steve, so they would probably think he was just some rich eccentric, who wanted private security at home. Steve wasn’t happy about it, but would do anything to get his own place away from SHIELD headquarters.

“Cheer up Captain! Soon we will go house hunting, it will be fun!” Sharon teased him.

“Hopefully house hunting will be easier now than it was then.”

“Oh, you wish!”

They parked on a store with a big glass window, with a skull and crossbone in the front. A little bell signed their entrance to the store. Two tall men were behind a counter, and stopped chatting when they walked in.

“Good afternoon, Agent Carter I presume?” one of the men smiled and shook Sharon’s hand.

“Yes, Mr Rollins, good to meet you. This is Steve, the one that will be needing your services.”

“Hello, nice meeting you.” Steve nodded politely.

“Hey, nice meeting you too. Thanks for thinking of us for this. This is my partner, Brock Rumlow.”

As Steve turned to the other man, he froze.

That face.

Steve had the vivid image in his head, of punching this man. How?

He felt his face turn into a scowl, and the man took a step backwards, his hand still extended for a handshake that Steve never payed attention to.

This man. He was an asshole. He was absolutely sure of it. But how?

“Erm… Steve?” Sharon called him quietly when she noticed the angry face.

He cleared his throat, looking down. “Hm, excuse me Mr Rollins and Mr Rumlow, could I have a word with Agent Carter for a moment?”

The three people looked confused, but they agreed. “Sure thing! Erm, we’ll be in the office when you need us, ok?” Rollins pointed with his thumb to a door at the back of the room. As they were about to enter the room, he heard Rollins complain quietly to Rumlow “Did you mess with his wife or something?”

“What is it, Steve?” Sharon asked confused.

“Not this guy. I don’t know about this Rollins, but not Rumlow.” he asked.

“Why?”

“I rather not make any business with them, if you don't mind.” he said uncomfortable. “Can’t you do it?”

And that was the short story of how Sharon became Steve’s neighbor on a small four storey building in Brooklyn. She was supposed to “keep an eye on him”, and Steve was sure she was, but it felt good to have a familiar face close by.

The apartment was alright. It was cosy, the furniture brand new. The walls had pretty and expensive artwork, and the kitchen looked fit to be in a restaurant. Still… it didn’t feel like home. He kept thinking the kitchen should be different, and the room was in the wrong place. The couch was not the right size either, too big for the room. He just could not understand why he was being so picky about this, it was like he was used to living in a different place.

One evening, while falling asleep on a bed too soft to him, it clicked.

Home was his mother’s home. His old apartment.

He made a note to ask agent Carter to help him find it. Maybe it was still standing?

 

__________

 

The week leading to Becca’s birthday was a tool on Bucky.

She decided to keep her problem about Steve locked up, at least until her mother and sister went back to Washington. She would need to deal with it. He was dead. He was already dead before. They were on borrowed time, and she knew it. Why was it so hard to accept?

So off they went. Shopping. Movies. Dinners. She liked to think she got them fooled, because the last thing she wanted was to have her mother worry on her shoulders as well.

Becca’s Birthday was on their last day in New York, and they spent the day at Central Park, then a dinner at home with cupcakes. Bucky got some balloons and they made fruit drinks.

“Just for tonight, Becca!” her mother warned about the alcohol. Bucky and Becca just laughed.

Before they ate the cupcakes, sitting at the table together, it was time for gifts.

“Aaaand, here’s my gift to you, jerk.” Bucky jokes, handing Becca a colorful paper gift bag.

“Give it here!!” and she excitedly opened the bag. “Oh my God!!” she shrieked. She pulled out the most outrageous pair of Unicorn slippers, glitter and all. “I LOVE IT!!” she gave Bucky a hug, laughing. “My instagram will go sky high!”

“Oh, why Bucky?” their mother teased.

“Sorry mom, her likes are important!” she laughed.

“They are perfect!” and Becca propped her unicorn feet on the table, making them laugh. “Thanks Bucky!”

“Now now, I see my gift won’t be nearly exciting anymore, But I hope you like it!” Winnie teased as she gave Becca another gift bag.

“Thanks mom!!” and she promptly opened the larger bag. “Awesome!!!” and she pulled out what looked like a bundle of fleece pajamas.

A Captain America fleece pajama set.

Bucky paled. A heartache started to climb all the way to her throat, and she could not stop staring at the fabric full of shields and “A”s  in Becca’s hand. She felt her left hand start to shake and her eyes fill with tears.

“Bucky?” Becca noticed her sister’s demeanour right away.

“Baby?” her mother touched her hand. “What’s wrong?”

Bucky felt the air in the room slip away, and took big breaths. “Ex… excuse me.” and she ran to the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

Her mother knocked not a moment later. “What’s happening, baby?”

“Just give me a moment mom.” she asked weakly. This was so stupid! It was just a stupid pajama! Steve would laugh his ass off if he saw it.

“Dammit Steve!” she sniffed, while tears came to her eyes again. How much she missed his goofy jokes. She sat on the floor giving in to her tears for a change. She lost track of time, sitting on the cold tiled floor, when she heard another knock.

“Bucky?” Becca’s voice was quiet. “Please, come out. Let’s have some cake and talk, please?”

“Okay, I’ll be right out.” she called thru the door, voice heavy. Washing her face, she left the bathroom with a sigh. Her mother had put the cupcakes on the table next to the couch, and they were sitting on each side of the couch, leaving the middle for Bucky.

“Sorry Becca.”

“Bucky, please, tell us what’s going on.” her sister pleaded.

Bucky felt her heart so heavy. Heavy with regret, with loneliness, with love. She couldn’t take it all alone. Looking at her family, ready to listen, to support her, before she knew it, all the story tumbled out.

“When I came to live here, a lot of strange things happened. Things would move, doors would close, I heard voices. I didn’t care too much for it, it was annoying, but that was it. Turns out, there was a ghost living here, and he was a man who lived here in the forties. One night, I saw him. Turns out, no one had seen his ghost here since he died, in world war two of all places. He was stuck in this apartment, and the reason it was so cheap, was because people were scared of the ghost, who kept messing around the place. But I saw him and I could talk to him. He asked me to help him, so he could find out why he was stuck in this place, and I said ok! We’ve been living together for months, and he was the most sweet, honest and amazing guy I ever met, he helped me on the day my arm acted out, and he said I should wear my scars, not hide them. He made me a army speech and all. He also punched a guy who came to harass me at home. But about 3 weeks ago, we were watching a haunted house series on netflix, because he thinks he’s funny like that, he got indigestion and disappeared forever! Now I miss him, because I think I really loved him. Now, he’s gone to some afterlife, and I will never see him again.”

Becca and her mother stared at her, shocked..

Her mother cleared her throat. “Is… erm… is there anything else, baby?” she said with a strange face.

“He was Captain America.” Bucky answered and promptly covered her face, putting her elbows to her knees.

There was silence, except for Bucky’s quiet sniffles.

“That’s quite the story, Buck.” her sister said, with a quiet laugh.

“I know!” she exclaimed. “I told him it was an unbelievable story! I thought he was an hallucination!”

“Was he?” her mother asked, a touch of fear in her voice.

“No mom! He was real,  just couldn’t touch things, except for my tablet, that he could touch all the time so he could watch kitten and puppy videos!”

Becca and Winnie exchanged a look.

“Baby… are you sure you took your meds during the last months?” she asked a little awkward.

Bucky looked from her mother, to her sister. Then back to her mother, like a weird ping pong game.

“You don’t believe me.” she said, realization crashing on her head like a ton of bricks.

“Buck… of course we believe you. Just… maybe things didn’t happen exactly that way.” Becca tried to calm her.

“I told you about Steve, Becca!” Bucky complained.

Becca turned ironic. “Right. Because the only Steve in the whole world is Steve Rogers, Captain America.” she rolled her eyes.

“Becca!” her mom complained.

“I can’t believe this.” Bucky covered her face with her hands again.

“Baby...” her mother caressed her hair, while talking slowly. “ Maybe coming to New York wasn’t the best idea, with you being alone here. How about this? We are going home tomorrow, why don’t you come stay for a few days? Your father will like to see you. Just to clear your head.”

Bucky turned angry to her mother, “My head is clear mom! I wasn’t alone, Steve was with me.”

“Steve wasn’t real Bucky!” her sister said upset. “You came to New York without finishing your treatment. Please come with us, come home.”

“I am treating myself just fine, thank you. All my meds are up to date!” she exclaimed, pointing to said medicine box, “I haven’t had a crisis is months!”

“Except you just had one!” her mother said.

“I just… I just…” she took a big breath. “Becca’s gift just made me remember of Steve.”

“You don’t know any Steve, Bucky!” her mother insisted. “You’ve been imagining a roommate for months, sweetie!”

“It’s not possible!” Bucky insisted.

“So what’s possible?” her mother got a little angry, “You living with a ghost of a famous man? Someone who magically made all your fears disappear? Baby! You did this yourself! You overcame everything all by yourself, there are no such things as ghosts!” her mother pleaded. “Please, please come home with us tomorrow.”

Bucky looked again to her mother and sister. They looked at her with pity. She felt defeated. Feeling tears come down her cheeks she only nodded, leaving the couch without a word.

“Baby…” her mother called

“I will pack some clothes,” she said with a voice full of tears, “sorry, I don’t really want any cupcakes. Happy Birthday Becca. See you in the morning.” and without turning to her mother and sister, she went to her room and closed the door softly.

She quickly threw some clothes into a bag, and stretched out in her bed. Looking at her armchair, she remembered the first time she ever saw Steve. Was she really dreaming all of this? Was she crazy?

She could hear her sister and mother talking quietly in the living room.

“We shouldn’t have let her come.” her mother was saying, sniffing.

“I never saw anything strange in all our video calls.” her sister commented "Was she pretending this whole time? She told me about this guy, but I had no idea he was imaginary!".

“If she’s hallucinating like this, for this long, she wouldn’t think anything was amiss, honey. She was going to act as usual to you.”

“I should have known.” Becca complained.

“When we get back to D.C. we will find a new doctor for her. She obviously is not doing well with this medication.”

 _Wonderful_ , Bucky thought. It would start all over again. Crying silently into her pillow, she thought of Steve. He was real.

_Wasn’t he?_

 

__________

 

The next morning, while Steve was having breakfast, he could hear Sharon moving around in the her apartment. Not giving up on his idea, he went to the door, meaning to talk to her. He caught her leaving with a basket full of laundry.

“Hey!” she greeted him.

“Hey, need help?” he asked, while already taking the basket from her.

“Thanks! I just need to get ahead on this, I hate doing laundry.”

“I told you you can use the machine in my apartment if you need.”

“Don’t worry about it Steve.” she smiled at him. Steve thought, that maybe in any other scenario, he could get a real thing going with Sharon. But there was something… as if he already had someone, but didn’t know who. “Was there anything you needed?”

“Oh yeah.. I am wondering if you could help me find an address?”

“Sure! We can try to find it online.”

“Actually, I know where it is, I just wanted to go there?”

“Oh… okay then!”

“I’m thinking about getting a bike, so you won’t need to drive me around, sorry about that.”

“It’s not a problem Steve, wanna go now?”

“Now?”

“I mean, I don’t have anything to do this morning.”

“Alright then!” and after dropping her clothes at the laundry, they took Sharon’s car to an address that Steve had in his mind. He was discouraged to see many buildings were not there anymore. Some streets were changed, new buildings where there used to be parks.

“It’s so strange” he comments, looking out the window at the passing buildings.

“Things changed a lot in seventy years.” she said as she stopped at a red light.

Steve was about to reply when he looked across to the little park in the corner of the street, and something in his mind started to click. He knew that park. The little fountain in the middle, the large trees. He used to see this park from his window. This was the place.

“Would it be ok if I walk from here?” he said, already opening the door, and leaving the car.

“Steve! Wait!” she called. “I’m gonna try to find a parking space! I’ll meet you there!”

As the car drove away, Steve was barely paying attention. There was something important about this place. He needed to focus. Walking to the park, he went to his favorite spot, sitting under a big oak tree, facing the fountain. How many times he played here as a child? How many drawings he made of the city skyline, sitting right here? He used to wait for his mother to get home from work and many times she found him sleeping under the tree.

Looking around, the city looked different, but things were in their places. To his right, on the other end of the street, he saw it. The building he lived with his mother. The city was so busy around it, that it seemed invisible to everyone else.

Closing his eyes, he could picture the inside of his home.

A single bed, with a creaky armchair, always full of clothes. Shoes that would be spread around. A little office in the corner, with a noisy cell phone and a tablet around. The comfortable couch, and the christmas lights. The smell of dinner and the fireworks outside…

_Bucky._

Gasping, Steve opened his eyes. Bucky… the blue eyed, potty mouthed girl he was looking for everywhere! That was her! Bucky with her long dark hair, and baggy pajamas and long sleeved shirts. The crazy ideas, and the star on her arm. The fragile and funny girl he felt so connected. 

That he _loved_.

Jumping to his feet, Steve felt like he had run a marathon. He was breathing fast and felt lightheaded. How was this possible? Was it real? He had to see, he had to find her… if she was real, she was the home he was searching for.

 

__________

 

That same morning, Bucky woke up early, and thought of the day ahead.

She was going back to Washington.

After so much struggle to come back to New York, she would have to leave, even if it wasn’t forever. Just thinking about going back to doctors, exams… it sent a chill down her spine. She would need to contact all her clients, maybe she would have to give up on them.

And the worse… her family thought she was crazy. Her mother’s look, ugh!

Tidying up the room a little, she put some more clothes in her bag and went to take a shower. Her mother and Becca were sleeping in the couch, so she was quiet as much as she could. She took her time, washing her hair, massaging her arm under the hot spray. About half an hour later, when she left the bathroom in a robe, and her mother was already putting together some breakfast, while Becca was still sleeping.

“Good morning,” her mother said in a subdued tone, “Did you sleep well?”

“Fantastic.” she replied as she sat with a cup of milk chocolate at the table.

“How are you feeling?”

Bucky looked at her mother. She looked sad. It wasn’t her fault, none of this, it was all a mess, and Bucky couldn’t help her understand, since she wouldn’t believe her. “Better.” she lied.

“I’m gonna wake Becca, our train leaves at noon, and we should call a cab. Do you… want help, packing?”

“Already packed.” she said, taking a sip of her milk. Gosh, she was so tired.

Silence came down on them, and Winnie sighed. “I’ll call your sister.”

Bucky didn’t turn from her breakfast, just heard her mother calling Becca, asking her to go take a bath and come eat something. Becca was quiet, and Bucky could feel the weight of her stare. To say breakfast was gloomy, was to put it mildly.

In fact, the whole morning, while they packed their last things, and Bucky called a few clients to explain she would be out of town, was pretty depressing. She covered the couch and her computer with white sheets, and before they knew it, Becca had called an Uber to take them to the Station.

“We should wait outside.” Winnie said suddenly. “Get some fresh air, eh?”

They made a sad group, those three. Bucky sitting desolated on top of her bag, in jeans, a baggy black sweatshirt and faded converse. Her hair was a mess, since she hadn’t bothered to brush it after her shower. Becca was still wearing her pajama bottoms, with a zipper sweatshirt and hugging her unicorn slippers. She was staring off in the distance, while Winnie paced from side to side in front of them.

The street was busy, and their car was taking a little longer, but the weather was good, so they didn’t mind. A silver car passed slowly by them, and they thought it was their Uber at first, but it was just a blond woman looking for a parking space. _Good luck with that, lady_ , Bucky thought.

A little time  later, another silver car, a larger one, signaled to them. The driver turned on his blinkers and stopped as close to the curb as he could, waving politely at them.

That was it, Bucky thought. No going back now.

 

__________

 

Steve walked shakily across the park, he could see the building in the little distance, and his heart hammered in his chest. Would she be there? Did he dream all of that?

Crossing the street, he looked all the way down to the sidewalk. There was a woman, in jeans and a sweatshirt, standing with her arms crossed, looking down. There was a bag at her feet, and there were two other women with her. An older woman close to a car, parked close to the curb, and another girl taking bags to the car.

When the woman looked up, his heart stopped. It was her.

_Bucky._

Her long dark hair was a mess, and she looked sad, eyes red as she had been crying. But it was her, he was absolutely sure. His voice caught up in his throat, and he started to walk towards her. When the other girl took the bag from Bucky’s feet and also took it to the car, he froze. She was leaving.

No, no! Not now!

With a shaky voice, he called across the sidewalk… _“BUCKY!”_

 

___________

 

As the last bag was put on the trunk of the car, Bucky was still standing on the sidewalk. She didn't want to go.

“Come on, baby.” her mother called her softly. Becca had already gotten into the car.

When she was about to move, she heard a shout.

_“BUCKY!”_

Bucky and Winnie stared at each other for a moment, as if thinking, _Did you hear that too?_

Bucky held her breath, and looked towards the call. That voice… it couldn’t be. But there, walking swiftly on the sidewalk towards her, was…

_Steve._

He was looking at her, dodging people and gathering strange looks from them.

“BUCKY!” he called again.

All she could think in her head was… _Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve_ … and she felt her sight darken at the edges. She couldn’t breathe… the last thing she saw before she fainted was his surprised face.

 

__________

 

He could not let her go! She was leaving and he almost missed her!

Thankfully she heard his call… but... Bucky went ghostly pale, looking at him with a slack jaw and huge eyes.

“BUCKY!” he called again.

And she fainted, face planting the ground. It was like a Deja Vu.

“No no, not again!” he mumbled, now running at her.

“OH MY GOD, baby!” the older woman shouted, getting to her side, “Becca!! Help me!” she called to the car.

The younger girl ran to their side, turning Bucky belly up, and calling her name. “Bucky!!! Bucky!!! Mom, what happened???”

Steve got to their side, “Excuse me!” he said, gathering Bucky in his arms, sitting her on the floor. He pushed her hair off her face, and saw she had a small scratch on her forehead, where she bumped on the ground. “Buck! Buck! Wake up!” he tapped her cheeks lightly.

Becca was furious, “Hey! And who the hell are you?” Her mother was watching the scene, alarmed.

“I’m Steve.”

They both froze, looking up at him. “Steve?” they asked in unison.

He looked at them, and saw their astonished faces. “Yes… erm… nice meeting you ma’am.” he said. “You must be Becca and Bucky’s mother, she talks a lot about you.”

“What the hell…” Becca whispered, looking at her mother.

A groan made them look back at Bucky. She was making a pained face, her hand touching the scratch on her forehead. “Ow…” she complained, eyes closed.

“Buck!” Steve called softly to her.

She slowly blinked her eyes open, with a confused face, looking straight at him.

“Steve…” she smiled sleepily. They smiled at each other for a moment, then her mind seemed to catch up with things. The smile was gone and the big eyes/slack jaw was back. “STEVE!” she shouted.

“Hi Bucky” he said with a giggle.

“Oh my _GOD_ !” she scrambled to her feet, clumsily, making everyone else get on their feet too. Becca and Winnie were frozen, watching the scene. Bucky faced Steve breathing hard. “Steve, where the _HELL have you been_?” she asked loudly, grabbing her own hair with her hands.

He spread his arms and sighed, also looking fed up with the world. “The craziest thing happened Bucky! I woke up in a room like it was 1941, but it was a phony! It was actually like a movie set! It was so stupid, they thought they could fool me!” he said exasperated.

“My mother treated me like I was crazy!” she complained to him.

“Everybody treats me like an idiot!” he complained as well. “ I know how to use a tablet, ok?”

“My sister thought I was a liar!” she said angrily, slapping her hand into her palm.

“I have had more meetings with the government than I can count! Not even the war had this much bullshit!” he added, spreading his hands to make a point.

“I thought you had gone to the light, you punk!” she exclaimed, grabbing his shirt with both her hands.

“I told you! I am not Patrick Swayze!” he exclaimed back, grabbing her shoulders.

By now, Winnie, Becca, the Uber driver, and a few passersby were watching the scene mystified.

That odd sentence seemed to calm Bucky, and she stared at him.

“Always?” she asked, emotional.

He cradled her face with his big hands, finally.

“Always. Till the end of the line.” he whispered back.

The kiss was long overdue, and Steve kissed Bucky with all pent up emotion he had, crushing her to his chest, lifting her up from the ground. Her arms around his shoulder grounded him and for the first time since he woke up, he felt right. Just right.

The small crowd cheered, and wolf whistled to them. Becca and Winnie looked around in astonishment.

“Mom,” Becca said quietly.

“Yeah?” she answered breathless.

“That guy does look a lot like Captain America.”

__________

 

When Sharon got back to where Steve was, she had to double look.

Steve was calmly standing in the sidewalk, a bunch of traveling bags on his shoulders, and a pair of unicorn slippers under one arm. He was close to an older woman, who was talking exasperatedly on the phone, while a woman in a sweatshirt and wild hair was paying a man on a car. Another younger girl was sitting close to Steve’s feet, her head tucked into her knees, in pajama bottoms.

She didn’t get paid enough for this.

 

__________

 

I took them all, bundled in Bucky’s kitchen, three pots of strong coffee and hours of talking to get everything straight. They told the story in tandem, one finishing the other sentence. It was ridiculous! But only got as far as the night Steve disappeared.

“So, you were not dead, after all…” Bucky turned to him.

“They said I was in a coma.” he turned to her.

“More like frozen.” Sharon commented, bitting a homemade biscuit.

“The night you were gone… you woke up.” she said amazed.

“I couldn’t remember you at first… I could remember the plane… talking to Peggy… but not what happened here, in this place. But I knew something was off.”

“Why didn’t you come sooner?” Becca asked suddenly, with an angry face.

“I didn’t know where she was.” he defended himself.

“Then how come you got here today?” she asked back.

“Becca!” Bucky kicked her under the table.

“Steve asked me to help him find his mother’s old apartment.” Sharon answered. “This is so good Mrs Barnes.” she pointed the biscuit in her hand to Bucky’s mother.

“I found the park first… and when I started to think about it, it all came to me.” Steve explained. He turned to Bucky “Sorry, I… I forgot.” he said with a sad puppy face.

“Steve,” she said, touching his face. “It’s okay if you forget things you lived in some spiritual state while you were frozen in the arctic for seventy years.” she then turned a nasty look at Becca. “You happy? You just made him sad.”

“He started it!” Becca accused.

“Did not!” He said back.

“Children!” Winnie called them to silence. “ I guess we all can say, this was some extraordinary event. It was no one’s fault.” She turned sad eyes at Bucky. “Will you ever forgive me, baby?” her eyes filling with tears.

“Oh no, mom! No, don’t cry!” she got up and hugged her mother. “If you cry it will be a cry fest!”

“Okay, okay!” she said, wiping her tears and smiling at them. “What a day, eh?”

“Yeah.” they all sighed.

“Becca and I will get the train at six. I managed to change our tickets.” she said.

“Steve and I will be heading back, we can give you a lift.” Sharon commented.

Steve cleared his throat, blushing. “Actually Sharon, you can go ahead, I can get home by myself.” he and Bucky exchanged a smile.

“Oh, Steve, you dog!” Becca teased him.

“That’s it Becca, time to go!” Bucky said clapping her hands, while they all got up to leave.

When they said their goodbyes in the street, Bucky’s mother giving her one last tight hug, Sharon winking at Steve, they all left in Sharon’s car. Becca waved at them, with her unicorn slipper.

They went back to the, now quiet, apartment, and sat on the couch with a sigh.

“I am kinda afraid that I am dreaming all of this.” Bucky confessed.

Steve caught her left hand in his. He was there. “Not this time, Buck.”

Bucky climbed on his lap, one leg on each side of his hip, and gave him a tight hug. Steve buried his head into her neck. She was warm, her clothes were soft. He couldn’t wait to touch her, he was thirsty for it. He felt his heart squeeze when she passed her fingers thru his hair.

He felt her breathing too fast. “Buck?” and he got away just enough to see her face. They were nose to nose.

“Sorry… I… I wasn’t in the best place since you left.” she confessed, a tear coming down one cheek. “I missed you so much.”

“I knew I was missing something… it was you.”

They kissed again, this time without audience, and intimate. Steve crushed Bucky to his chest, and passed his hand at the back of her waist, feeling her hot skin. Bucky shivered, and moaned softly.

“Please tell me you’re not going home tonight, Steve.” she whispered into his mouth.

Steve smiled, and got up from the couch, taking Bucky into his arms. She yelped, and grabbed his shoulders, crossing her legs on his back. “Please tell me your bed is not so small as it looks.”

“One way to find out.”

In the middle of the night, with clothes spread around the room, they slept tangled, and squeezed in the single bed. If Steve’s feet were hanging from the end of the bed, he didn’t care.

 

___________

 

If there is one thing they never really tell you about moving from a place to another, is about how truly stressful it can be. Bucky was making her second move in less than a year. She knew exactly how that was.

Another bag of clothes went missing, and she lost her phone’s charger. She also had to sell a lot of her furniture, because the new apartment already had everything.

When a black car went to pick her and the last box at her old apartment, she sighed relieved.

The new apartment was in Brooklyn too, so it wasn’t that far. When the car stopped at the curb, she thanked the driver and left the car to see Steve and Sharon waiting for her.

“All these agents driving me around, I feel like I am on Men In Black.” she joked.

“They operate on a whole different jurisdiction.” Sharon said seriously. Bucky and Steve stared at her for a moment, before she laughed. “You guys are so easy.” she said giggling.

Steve took the box from her hands. “Hey.” he said, smitten.

Bucky smiled and gave him a peck on the lips. “Hey yourself.”

“Okay, I’m out, you guys are gross.” she winked, walking down the sidewalk to another car parked further down the street.

“Shall we?” Steve gave her his arm, and they went upstairs to his… now their apartment. It was a big place, had 2 bedrooms, where Bucky could make a real office. Steve changed some of the arts on the walls for some of Bucky’s and the couch was the one from her apartment. They loved that couch. The cracky armchair was also in their room now.

Bucky looked around at the spacy apartment and sighed happily.

“Are you sure you didn’t want to stay at your mother’s place?”

Steve looked thoughtful. “I guess… I already stayed there long enough.”

Bucky pulled Steve close by his shirt. 

“Fair enough.” she said hugging him by the waist.

“Would you like to see the new bed? It got here this morning.” he asked with a glint in his eye.

“New bed?”

“King sized.”

“Oh my G...” and she yelped, as Steve pulled her above his shoulder to their new room.

Bucky woke in the middle of the night, to the soft low glow of the street lights in the bedroom. She looked at Steve, sleeping soundly and snoring a little, legs stretched on the new huge mattress.

How much her life changed in one year.

_“Maybe I will laugh about this in a year, with a rich, handsome and famous husband, that will make all my dreams come true!”_

She had said that to Becca, joking on the video call. How much words had power.

_“Yes, and he will be superman too!”_

_Who needed Superman?_ She thought smiling, tangling her leg with his.

She had Captain America.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked this silly thing!  
> Some images for this fic:
> 
> Girl Bucky:  
> [](http://s6.photobucket.com/user/carolseabra/media/buckygirl3_zps8c92271d.jpg.html)
> 
> Bucky’s nighborhood:  
> [](http://s6.photobucket.com/user/carolseabra/media/brooklyn-heights-julienne-schaer-112__large_zps24y89knr.jpg.html)
> 
>  
> 
> [](http://s6.photobucket.com/user/carolseabra/media/BrooklynHeights_Street_Cars-f8427e_zpsgimqft4f.jpg.html)  
> 
> 
>  
> 
> Steve’s Hairstyle and Clothes:  
> [](http://s6.photobucket.com/user/carolseabra/media/steveps_zpst8opoia8.jpg.html)
> 
>  
> 
> [](http://s6.photobucket.com/user/carolseabra/media/FB-FX-0074Plate-1_zpswnjszsia.jpg.html)  
> 
> 
>  
> 
> Bucky’s Sister, Becca:  
> [](http://s6.photobucket.com/user/carolseabra/media/59151809a8dd96.05399417591518098e1635.97849128_zpsrhy2czye.jpg.html)
> 
> Bucky’s Mother, Winnie:  
> [](http://s6.photobucket.com/user/carolseabra/media/3973237101fed84be180524062fd7dac_zpsrkkpdfvr.jpg.html)
> 
> Inspiration for Bucky’s apartment:  
> [](http://s6.photobucket.com/user/carolseabra/media/c54f6d93eaa337305d973ce6b8defa9b_zps6plmopst.jpg.html)
> 
>  
> 
> [](http://s6.photobucket.com/user/carolseabra/media/clothes-rack-with-various-different-items-in-open-plan-living-space-with-brickwork-fireplace-and-bed-studio-apartment-decora_zpswhega9ks.jpg.html)  
> 
> 
>  
> 
> And… Becca´s Unicorn slippers! (I want one too!)  
> [](http://s6.photobucket.com/user/carolseabra/media/TB23hSgfrsTMeJjSszgXXacpFXa__1021298513_1200x_zpsal1vfi9x.jpg.html)


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